Finally Free Again

22

Warnings:
-Mental abuse/bullying (body shaming)
-Eating disorder behaviour (starving)
-Overexercising

Clay's POV

It was the day I was going home. The nurse talked to my parents and told me I could always come to her if something would happen. My dad was picking me up to bring me home. I had my bottle with pills and the tube feeding in my bag, but I wasn't going to tell my dad about it.

I was sitting in my wheelchair but I didn't really need it anymore which caused me to stand up. I turned to the nurse and she smiled as she gave me a tight hug.

'Honey, you're calling me if something bad happens, right?'

I nodded with a smile. I saw my dad's car coming closer and then gave her another hug. 'Goodbye, thank you for being so sweet to me.'

'I'm going to miss you, sweetheart. Call me immediately when you need to.'

She ruffled my hair up and I walked to my dad's car as she smiled and waved at me. I waved back and stepped inside of the car as my dad scoffed.

He didn't say anything and we drove home as I sighed softly. I was happy that I was able to stop eating again, but I missed the nurse and George. I didn't want to be at home.

I curled myself up in the back of the car and looked at my father. I really wanted him to be proud of me.

'Dad? I gained around forty pounds and I ate something again. I also drank hot chocolate milk with the nurse who helped me a lot. It was quiet without you around me, I sometimes missed visitors.'

'Just shut up, Clay. I'm not proud of you after everything you did to us. You should have never stopped eating anyway.'

'But I think I did pretty well, right?' I whispered.

'You've gone from a skeleton to a pig. Not sure if you can call that good.'

I looked down at my legs with tears in my eyes, feeling even more self conscious than before and decided to not talk anymore as my father drove home. I slowly went inside of the house and noticed my mother wasn't here which made me sad. I sat down on the couch and put my bag down but then rethought it.

I grabbed my bag and stood up to go to my room just to start exercising.

~ Hours Later ~

I exercised for at least four hours with a very short break. My dad called for dinner, but I didn't answer to act like I was asleep. I wasn't going to eat anything anymore after my dad called me a pig. I needed to lose even more than I lost last time because I couldn't deal with this anymore.

~ A Few Days Later ~

I became even stricter for myself than I used to be. I didn't eat anything again and I even barely drank water because I wanted to feel empty and become thin again. I exercised five hours a day and ignored all the times I passed out. No one had to know and no one was going to know.

I smiled as I grabbed the scale and jumped on it. I lost a lot of weight again since I went from being fed all day, eating and not exercising to starving, barely any liquids and exercising all day.

I was so happy that I made a happy sound and then I ran downstairs. I barely saw my mother, but she was sitting down on the couch. My father wasn't here and she immediately stood up.

'Clay, now your dad isn't here. Honey, I wished I would have visited you in the hospital, but dad... he is not so kind to me sometimes. I couldn't come, sweetheart. Can you forgive me?'

I nodded. 'It's fine. I'm going to school.'

I didn't want to talk to anyone. I knew my mum had a hard time, but I needed to exercise now instead of talking. Today was my first school day and I was scared people would find me fat.

'Sweetie, have you been losing weight again? You're looking so fragile...'

I wanted to scream from happiness because she noticed my weight loss. I shook my head instead. 'Not that I know of. Anyway, I'm going to school. Bye!'

I quickly ran off and started running as I went to school, taking the longest way there was. I ran as fast as I could since I wanted to run back home again and then back to school so I burned a lot of calories.

Unfortunately, when I arrived at school after my first round of running, I got so overwhelmingly tired that I needed to go inside of the school so I wouldn't pass out.

I walked in and kept standing up as I saw one of my classmates. He looked at me and scanned my body. His arrogant look turned into a vicious one and he lifted his hand up, sticking his fingers in his throat.

It made me so insecure that I figured he meant that I was very fat and disgusting. I sadly walked into the classroom as I heard people talk about me behind my back.

'That skeleton is back again. At least he gained a lot of weight.'

It made me really self conscious again and I started moving my legs heavily to burn more calories while I bit my lip so I wouldn't cry. I needed to lose more, I had to lose as fast as possible.

I was going to skip school today, I needed to exercise for at least six hours. If five hours still kept me fat, I needed to add more to it. I was going to become thin and didn't mind what I had to do for that.

I got so restless that I stood up during the class. I had to exercise, I couldn't just sit still during a class. I had to do anything I could to become thin and no one would suspect me of leaving school to exercise.

I went to the park and ended up running around for hours. At least, that was the plan. I was exercising for thirty minutes when I passed out and didn't wake up for a long while.

1049 words