Finally Free Again

21

Warnings:
-None, I think

Clay's POV

~ A Few Days/Weeks Later ~

I sat in my wheelchair as the nurse drove me around the hospital. I was physically doing way better than before, but I was mentally completely exhausted which I didn't tell anyone because they couldn't know my plan.

I even gained fifteen more pounds which was terrible. I did drink a lot before I needed to weigh myself and stuffed my pockets full of heavy things, but I knew I did gain a lot too. I gained so much that I was considered "weight restored" since I was at the minimum weight allowed for my length. It was a complete chaos in my head but really good too since I could leave the hospital soon.

George was doing very well and he could leave the hospital when his blood counts went back to normal. I felt alone without him since I needed him to help me get through the constant tube feeding.

To get away here as fast as possible, I even started eating again. I didn't eat much, or rather, I barely ate anything, but I needed to do anything to leave. I often acted like I ate but slid things in my pockets or threw it up. No one figured it out since they left me alone now I acted "recovered".

I looked at the nurse behind me and she drove me back to my room. They drew some blood again yesterday and since I was feeling way stronger than I used to, I was sure they were better. I just really wanted to go home now.

The nurse walked away again and I quickly walked to the toilet to flush the sandwich pieces I stuffed in my pockets. I went back again and the nurse walked in as I laid down for a few minutes.

She smiled. 'Clay, I have really good news for you!'

'What is it?' I answered excitedly.

'You still have anaemia, but your blood sugar went up to a healthy value! The iron in your blood and your vitamins went up too. Since your weight is healthy and you've been eating recently, we like you to try to recover more at home.'

'Really?' I yelled.

'But, under a few conditions, alright? You need to take a few pills every day to keep your anaemia and your vitamins under control. You're getting a list of food you're supposed to eat and you still need your tube at home.'

I nodded heavily. 'I will. Can I go to school?'

'Yes, but take it slowly, okay? I don't want you to start with full days.'

I nodded. 'I'm going to call George! When can I go home?'

'Monday, so you have to stay here this weekend, okay?'

'But, nurse,' I whispered. 'My father doesn't like me so much. He hasn't visited me in ages and I'm not sure if he even wants me to be at home.'

'Do you want me to call him and your mother? If they are mean to you, we will look for a temporary stay.'

I nodded with a smile. 'Okay, thank you.'

'Of course, honey. I'm very happy for you that you can leave the hospital, but I'm going to miss you too, sweetheart.'

I smiled shortly. 'I'm going to miss you too, you took good care of me. You feel like a mother to me,' I admitted with a sad face. 'Maybe that's just weird to say, I'm sorry. I just haven't seen my parents in a very long time and then the other nurses were really mean to me which caused me to feel traumatised, but you were very sweet to me and you understand me.'

She gave me a tight hug. 'Because I completely understand your struggle, honey. What the nurses did to you is very wrong and I already talked to our boss about it.'

'Almost no one wanted to understand me.'

'I had an eating disorder in the past,' she told me as she ruffled my hair up. 'I firstly had binge eating disorder and was overweight because I binged every day around two times, then it switched to anorexia and eventually to bulimia. After that, I constantly switched between bulimia episodes and anorexia episodes, but no one wanted to believe me.'

'Why did they not believe you?' I whispered as I listened carefully.

'Because I didn't binge as many times as the criteria of bulimia was back then which was very hurtful. I wasn't underweight so they didn't want to diagnose me with anorexia either. Later, everyone started learning that anorexia has nothing to do with weight. No criteria fitted me and eventually I got the diagnosis: not other specified eating disorder, which made me feel so "fake".'

'Does that still happen?'

'Yes, unfortunately. But eating disorders have NOTHING to do with weight. They don't look at gender, age, race, weight and anything like that at all.'

'Did you need tube feeding too?'

'No,' she smiled. 'I started eating by myself once they figured out my blood counts were low. I didn't want to die from an eating disorder so I started eating again.'

'Did you have support?' I asked. 'Next to the mean doctors.'

'I had my father,' she nodded. 'My mother passed away when I was very young.'

'Can I ask something personal?'

'Of course.'

'Do you have kids?' I mumbled awkwardly.

She shook her head. 'I'm not married either. I've always wanted kids, but I'm rather alone.'

'If my father is mean, can I come to you?' I questioned, looking away. 'Never mind, that's just weird.'

'You can, sweetheart. What if I give you my phone number so you can call me whenever you want to and I'll pick you up if you need a different place to stay.'

I got really happy and squeezed my hands happily, making a happy noise. 'Thank you.'

'I want you to be safe, dear. If you're not safe at home and you feel safe with me, please let me now.' She grabbed her phone and gave me her phone number with a smile. 'I'm proud of you.'

I got so happy that I called George to tell him that I could go home and that the nurse was so sweet to me. He was happy and told me he had been doing good after a rough night with three nightmares.

A while back, George told me he was traumatised because of bullies who beat him into the hospital. I sat with him and he told me everything about his trauma, crying a lot.

I comforted him and asked him to seek a therapist for his trauma and the eating disorder. He was currently waiting to get help, but tried his hardest to fight against his problems.

I couldn't wait to see him again, but I hated myself for wanting to lose weight again. I just needed to...

1150 words