Single-Blind - Newt (TMR)

Chapter 40 - You're My Favorite Color

I didn't hear her walk up behind me, I felt her when she stood next to me. She looked down at her hands and then back at me. Trying to track down what I was looking for. "We're friends, aren't we? Or were."

"Yeah...We were." I answered, biting my tongue so I didn't expose anything else.

She closed her eyes, letting her hands hold her head, "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I wish I remembered you. In my bones, I feel like I do but I can't."

"It's not your fault," I told her, resisting the urge to reach out for her.

I kept looking straight out, avoiding her eye contact as she turned to face me. "It doesn't feel that way. I feel like the old me did something wrong and the new me doesn't know how to fix it. "

I stood in silence, not knowing how to respond without messing things up more. "You can't even look at me."

She started walking away beaten and discouraged, that's all it took for me to break, "You didn't do anything wrong."

"No, I can't believe that. Whatever I did I'm sorry. You're hiding something. I can tell. I don't know how I can but I know." She paused, standing away from me. She was far enough that I couldn't see her face, not that it made this any easier. "Everything is so confusing. My brain was put into a blender and I can barely tell my lefts and rights. And you're the most confusing thing of all. I don't understand it but for some reason, every nerve in my body gets electrocuted whenever you're around." Fi started darting back and forth now. "Not even just around, when I heard that damn accent and when someone mentions your name. But I don't know a single thing about you. My brain and my body can't get on the same page."

"I don't understand." I tried to calm her. But I was no stranger to her pacing fits. This wouldn't stop until she figured it out or I physically held her down.

"I don't either!" She burst. "I mean, I was willing to risk my life against one of those demon things to save you. It sounds insane but I didn't even process what I was doing until I knew you were okay. All of that but I don't even know your favorite color? How am I supposed to understand that?"

"It's blue."

She stopped mid-step. Her eyebrows narrowed when he looked at me. "What did you do?"

I shook my head, "My favorite color is blue?"

"I heard that!" She mumbled, her hand holding onto her stomach, "I got this weird feeling...like a tingle. What did you do?" She repeated, I could see the corner of her lips curl.

I smirked, licking my lips to try to hide it. But I couldn't help the pride I felt in my chest. After all these years of claiming to hate that nickname, she secretly loved it.

"Stop that!" She shouted, pointing at me and looking for something at her feet. I knew instinctively she was trying to find something to throw at me. A classic Fiona move. "Cut it out. Now."

I burst out into laughter by now, "I'm sorry. It's your nickname, Blue, only the original five called you by that. It was special."

"It never mentioned that in the book." She mumbled, pulling something out of her bag.

"What book?" I question.

"This one." She pulled her old notebook out of her waistband, "I found it... After they wiped my memories. I found it tucked in my waistband. It's filled with stories. Whoever wrote this wanted me to have it and they knew- they knew that I would need it after they gutted my brain. If you were part of the original five, then you can help me make sense of this."

"You were always too smart for the rest of us." I boggled in awe, flipping the book open and flipping through them carefully.

She chuckled with pink cheeks, "I'm lost again."

The very book shook in my hands, "This handwriting, it's yours. You wrote all of this. You wanted to document us, you once told me that we might be making history. Of course, I had no idea how important we were until now. Bloody hell how did I get so lucky?"

Her face showed a confused smile but she continued, "And all the pictures?"

I swallowed, "What?

She came up beside me, flipping over to the last pages. His hand covered his mouth, looking at every page that was pinned on the wall back in her map room. "I thought we lost these in the fire." I flipped through the drawings, seeing all the images like a time capsule. "These are yours as well. "

We flipped to the picture of her, unarguably the worse of the bunch. She huffed, crossing her arms, "This would be your opportunity to tell me that we were together."

I gave in. I sat down in the sand, I knew she was too smart not to figure it out, subtly wasn't my strong suit. I considered making an excuse, but everything would be followed up with some kind of sass. To my surprise she sat right in front of me, making it impossible to not look at her.

"Why didn't you tell me? Talk to me at least?"

"I- I was scared. Bloody hell I'm still scared." He gasped. "I don't want to make this harder on you. In a day you went from knowing me better than I know myself to not even recognizing my face. I don't want to scare you away."

"Do you know how scary it is to see someone and feel... everything? With no indication of why? You're the first person I think about in the morning and the last at night. Yes, WCKD took my memories but..." She had trouble explaining, "They couldn't touch my feelings. I still feel it all. There's some driving force pushing me to you. It takes every part of my self-control to stay away from you and that terrifies me. That's the part that's scary, I don't even know myself."

"When did you figure it out?"

She smiled, thinking back, "Aris told me Teresa and I was the only girls in the maze. So... Well that first I thought you and Teresa had something and that's why you were ignoring me. But then when we were running from the monsters and she was getting attacked, Thomas never left her side. A few seconds later you grabbed me and I realized that you never left mine."

"What do we do next?"

"I don't know." She tapped the front of the book. "I think I know where we can start."

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I fucking love this chapter.

B