Scarcity of Chances

Chapter 9

Hindi ko alam kung gaano katagal akong nanatiling nakatayo roon pagkatapos umalis ni Shannon. Natauhan lamang ako nang binaha ng mga estudyante ang cafeteria.

Because of what happened, I lost my appetite. Hinugot ko ang panyo mula sa bulsa ng pantalon ko at pinunasan ang ilang luha na halos natuyo na marahil sa tagal kong nakatayo roon.

My face remained blank as I walk from the cafeteria to the playground near the auditorium and our building. Like what I always do whenever I'm here, I placed my bag on the side before I sat on the lone swing.

Even if the wind is playing with every strand of my hair, I wasn't in the mood to enjoy it. I don't even mind the freshness of the air for my breathing is still hard for crying earlier.

I still want to cry right now. I want to breakdown and pour all of my pain through sobs and tears. But I just can't.

Bukod sa wala akong enerhiya para doon, tingin ko ay wala na akong mailuluha pa para kay Shannon.

She's the one who betrayed me without blinking. Earlier, I did not even feel that she was sorry even after she apologized. I never sensed a pang of guilt beneath her teary eyes.

She even told me what she felt when he kissed him. What an insensitive human being.

I drifted from my mind-invented dimension when the swing started swaying. Hindi ko napigilang mapatayo kaagad upang tignan kung sino ang biglang tumulak sa swing na inuupuan ko lamang.

"Hi, Van!"

Napatiim bagang ako nang makita ang naka-polo shirt at pantalon na si Kylo. Ang isang kamay niya ay nakahawak sa bag niyang nakasukbit sa balikat samantalang nasa kadena naman ng swing ang isa.

"What are you doing here?" I replied coldly.

Umukit ang ngiti sa labi niya. "I saw you here so I decided to swing by to say hi. Did you already take your lunch?"

"Do you have to know that? Sino ka ba?"

I am not in the mood to talk to anyone. And besides, we had our deal, right? That after I watched his game, he'll stop bugging me. Now, what is he doing here?

The smile on his face disappeared. "I-I just... wanted to ask. You might be hungry. And you seem lonely here."

"Kahit mag-isa man ako habangbuhay, wala ka nang pakielam," I snapped unconsciously.

Hindi ko alam kung dahil ba sa nangyari kanina subalit nararamdaman ko na umiinit ang ulo ko. Iyan tuloy, hindi ko napipigilan ang sarili ko na sagutin si Kylo.

Sinabi ko na rin kasing huwag na akong guluhin e!

"Hey... I was just asking, Van," he defended. "I'm sorry."

Napairap ako. "We already talked about this, right? Can you now stop bugging me? I am not really in the mood to talk to anyone and you're not an exception."

He tried to lessen the tension by letting out a single laugh.

"Okay... I am just genuinely con-"

"Did I ask for it? I don't need that concern!" saad ko na pumutol sa sinasabi niya. "You're not even my friend so will you stop annoying me? I need some peace."

His face suddenly screamed shock. I guess he wasn't expecting my sudden outburst. But it was all his fault! He's irritating me!

He took a step away from the swing. Tumiklop na ang nakaawang niyang labi ngayon lamang at huminga ng malalim.

"Did something bad happen? What's pissing you off, Van? You can open up to me," mahinahon niyang wika.

Hindi ako nakapagsalita at wala sa sariling napayuko. Ang tonong gamit niya ay masyadong dalisay at mahinahon na tila may taglay na kakayahang mang-udyok sa akin na sabihin ang lahat ng nangyari. Subalit napigilan ko 'yon.