Scarcity of Chances

Chapter 21

"I didn't know that you had a friend like him, Diera. How come I haven't seen him before?" Hans started to pry.

"Uhm... well... I don't think I am required to tell you everything about me."

I get that Hans likes my other version here on this bubble. That is something that my old self would surely want to happen. However, everything has changed now. My view, preference, and wants are not the same anymore.

Still, I don't think that he should intervene or ask questions about everything that I do. It is somehow breaching the privacy I must have. And that's just making me really uncomfortable.

"Oh..." he sighed. "Alright. I'm sorry. I was just curious."

Bumuntonghininga ako. Kung may bagay man na labis na ipinagkaiba ng Hans na naririto, iyon ay ang pagiging maintindihin nito. Ramdam ko rin ang kabaitan at sinseridad kahit minsan ay nakakainis na ang pagiging kuryoso niya.

Unlike the Hans that used to give me mixed signals—only to discover that he got some wild interest in my best friend, the Hans here is far more ideal. The more I think about it, the more it comes to me that he and Irvine probably had a mutual understanding before all these happened to all of us.

With that, I cannot help but pity him. I want so bad to tell him the truth about my real identity but at the same time, afraid that he'll brand me as crazy, something that some people must have done to Miss Belinda.

If only... all these happenings are just easy to believe. But alas, even I cannot fully comprehend all these! A part of me thinks that I am just dreaming!

However, no matter how many pinches I do to myself, the situation stays the same.

"Kailangan ko nang umuwi. I want to rest already. I had quite a long day," I told him in a low voice.

Hans just nodded and silently open his car door for me. His silence on our short way home didn't surprise me at all. I prefer it this way.

"Do you want to come inside? I'm sure my parents would be delighted to see you," I invited.

"It's fine. You should rest as you please. I'll come back some other time."

Hindi na ako nagpumilit pa at tumango na lamang. Ako na mismo ang nag-bukas ng pintuan ng sasakyan niya upang makababa na. I stared at his car, politely waiting for it to leave before going inside our house.

My forehead creased when he suddenly rolled the car's window down. His face was serious and sincere as he voice out an unexpected phrase.

"I love you, Irvine Diera."

Hans didn't bother to wait for a reply. He rolled the window up and left the front road. Naiwan akong nakatayo roon at gulat.

That's the only emotion I am feeling—shock. I am utterly surprised that he can nonchalantly proclaim his feelings for Vine. Other than that, I feel nothing else. Sinubukan kong kapain kung makakaramdam ba ako ng kaba subalit wala akong makapa. My heart beat's at its normal rate.

He is a decent man, but he is not the same man that I used to like.

When I got inside, my parents thankfully didn't ask about what happened this day. Hindi rin nila ako pinagalitan kahit na ginabi na kami ni Kylo. Iyon nga lang, nang maghapunan ay tinanong na naman ako ng mga kapatid ko patungkol doon sa gusto nila g debut ko. I had no other choice but to ask for a few more time to think about it.

I just... don't really want to have a party. Hindi ang totoong Irvine ang kaharap nila at ayoko naman ding pilitin ang sarili ko na gawin ang bagay na hindi ko naman gusto. Ang kaso lang, ang hirap tumanggi. Bakit ba kasi magkaibang-magkaiba kami ng personalidad ng bersyon ko rito? Hirap na hirap tuloy ako.