Scarcity of Chances

Chapter 25

The fire and death of a total of six people, including Miss Bellinda, were broadcast on national television. I even heard my sister here saying that it was all over the internet too and hearing their sentiments about it was dreading.

It just confirmed that what happened was true. Miss Bellinda Escobar died before we even get to meet her.

As I lay on my bed exhausted and drained, I cannot help but tear up again. Against all the unanswered questions occupying my brain, there is one that I find most desperate for an answer.

And it's what we did to deserve all of this.

It's just really hard to understand. Minsan nga, iniisip ko na lamang na baka panaginip lamang ang lahat ng ito. Masamang panaginip kung saan hirap akong gumising. I had pinched myself countless times but to no avail.

When fate becomes the villain, how can even one win?

Or can one even win?

As of now, the only assurance that I am holding on to is Kylo's words, just like the first few days we got here. As long as he's here with me, I will continue fighting against waves of confusion and deranging situations that seem endless. Kahit nasaid na ang pag-asa, napupunan iyon ng pagtitiwala ko sa kanya.

I know that most people choose to fight their battles alone. There are a lot of reasons why. Mainly for me, because most feel like no one will ever understand them. They are afraid to be judged or disregarded that they resort to keeping their screams and cries inside, making everything worst.

I understand that. It isn't easy to speak up. However, after all that had happened, I realized that having someone seems more comforting and saving. Opening up and seeking help is worth doing. Mahirap man gawin subalit mas mahirap ang masadlak sa kadiliman.

Kaya naman hangga't kaya ay gagawa at maghahanap kami ng paraan. We are not totally back to zero. We have the papers we got from Mister Remzy that could possibly spark another light.

Yes, it seems impossible. But then, how we got inside this bubble was also far from possible. I mean, just like what I was always thinking, we were able to enter here so I am pretty sure that there will be a way out. Iyon sana ang solusyong maaaring unti-unti na'ng maaabot ng aming mga palad kung hindi lamang naganap ang trahedya kanina.

However, could I really bear to stay here for the rest of my life? Kakayanin ko ba'ng mamatay nang hindi nakakabalik at nasisilayan man lamang muli ang totoo kong pamilya?

Hindi ko gugustuhin.

Halos gumapang na lamang ako mula sa higaan patungo sa banyo kinabukasan. I only slept for three hours due to my disrupting thoughts, questions, and theories that kept me awake all night. Mabuti nga ay naalala ko pa'ng mag-alarm at kung hindi ay baka hindi kaagad ako nagising.

Kaya ang bunga, tila wala ako sa sarili nang makapasok. I am spacing out during morning classes. I even forgot that we have a quiz on Chemistry! I didn't practice how to balance chemical equations so I barely passed as a result!

"Are you okay, Vine? Do you have a problem? This is the first time you got a low score," Archie asked after she returned my paper. She was the one who checked mine and I corrected hers. She only got a few mistakes.

I nodded. "I'm fine. Just tired."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

I suddenly felt conscious when Archie's eyes narrowed as if she were examining me. Her arms are even crossed and her head is tilted.

"I hope you wouldn't get offended but for the past few weeks, you kind of seems... different. You barely hang out with us or even talk to us. You kept missing out every lunchtime. Iniisip na lang namin na baka may inaasikaso ka pero bakit parang sobra naman na ata, Vine?"