"Give me the fucking cloth."
"No, I'm doin' it."
" No , I'm doing it - Phil tell him I'm doing it."
"Boys."
"You're not even doin' it right, just hand it over."
"I swear to god, give me the cloth."
"Wil, no."
Tommy blinks his eyes open blearily.
Where the fuck?
"Look what you've done-"
"What I've done?"
Three blurry figures hover above him.
Oh god. He's gone and died hasn't he? He's in heaven.
"Stop using your abilities for stupid shit Wil."
"I'm not . He's just fucking annoying me."
"Oh I'm sorry for tellin' you that can't put a soaking wet cloth on the kid's head."
"Oh like you're an expert. What are you? The cloth police?"
Maybe he's in hell?
"Shut the fuck up," Tommy croaks out, chest heaving.
The figures become clearer as they all turn to stare down at him.
What is this? His day of judgement?
Maybe he should have paid Fundy back that one time.
"Ello mate, how're you feeling?"
That voice. It's very familiar.
Tommy blinks once more and then squints.
Oh fuck.
That is Philza.
"Philza Minecraft," He whispers reverently, sitting up hastily, gripping the covers beneath him as the world spins for a moment.
The hero looks at him in confusion. "Minecraft?"
"Philza Minecraft," Tommy repeats, seriously.
"Um, okay," The man nods, "Not really sure what that means. I am Philza yes."
"You created Minecraft," Tommy says.
Philza stares at him, "Right."
"Thank you," He whispers, "You are the hero of people, a blessing to our nation, a frog in the setting sun. Philza Minecraft."
The man reaches out and gently pats Tommy's head. Tommy is never washing his hair again.
"I'm never washing my hair again," He tells him.
Philza laughs, "Jesus, fuck, you're really out of it kid."
The Blade snorts beside the winged man, "No, that's just him."
Tommy looks at the blade hero, eyes wide. Oh wow. This - this is poggers.
"Blade," He says in awe.
The hero raises an eyebrow, "I told you to call me Techno."
"Blade," He repeats.
The Blade huffs, "Techno."
"Blade?" Tommy questions.
"Techno."
YOU ARE READING
TommyInnit's unbeatable method of avoiding sudden death
Fanfiction"I uh," Tommy starts, not knowing how to break this to the hero lightly. He hates to be the bearer of bad news. "I think your powers are broken? It's not a bad thing of course, but like, I swear you tried to mind control me and it like, totally fail...
