Fade in to the building the Blues and Sabine are in. Tucker is looking up at the building yelling for Church.
Tucker: Church! Chuu-urch, hey Church!
Church rolls his eyes and looks at him.
Church: I'm right behind you dumbass.
Tucker turns around and looks at him.
Tucker: Oh. Hey Church, do you have a knife?
Church: No. That's a weapon, dude, ask Tex or Sabine.
Tucker: They said they had something to take care of. Girl stuff I think.
Church: Huh? Like what?
Tucker: I don't know, I stopped asking questions at 'girl stuff'.
Church: What're you two guys doin'?
Behind Tucker was the alien and Caboose looking a black board that said.
English 101 kick-ass
Tucker (Tuck-r)
Money (mun-e)
Give Tucker money
Tucker: We're gonna teach the Alien how to speak English.
Church: How're you gonna do that?
Tucker: People learn English all the time, it aren't that hard.
Church: Maybe you should try learning his language. Like Sabine.
Tucker: Screw that, we got here first, and that makes this a colony. Those're the rules, dude. Earth colony, Earth language.
Church: Tucker there's thousands of languages spoken on Earth.
Tucker: Hyeah, but only one that kicks ass. And that's the one we're teaching. English 101, remedial kick-ass.
Church: Alright, there is no way this is gonna work.
Tucker: Yeah it is, we got visual aids and everything.
Church: Where the hell'd you get those?
Tucker: We made 'em. Turns out Caboose's gun didn't have any bullets- it was loaded with crayons. I just need to cut one of these things, you have a pocket knife?
Church: Hey if you need to cut something, why don't you just use that big sword o' yours?
Tucker realizes this and slaps his forehead.
Tucker: (chuckles) Oh right. Duh.
Tucker draws the sword. The alien turns around hearing the noise.
Alien: Whargh? (sees Tucker holding the sword) RHURRRRRRRGH!
The Alien jumps Tucker and starts beating him
Tucker: Ahh, what the hell!?
Church: Whoa! Mahan, Tucker, that thing either really hates that sword, or really hates you.
Tucker: Aaaaaaaah, get this freaking thing off me!
Church: Heh wait a second Tucker, this might be a good chance for us to evaluate how these things fight.
Tucker: Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow...
???: Hey!
They turn and see Sabine activating her sword.
Sabine: Get away from!
Alien: Blarg!
The alien hides behind a rock terrified as church and Sabine look at it dumbfounded.
Sabine: I guess it wants the blue one and hates the black one. Who knew.
Tucker: I don't care what he wants, I'm about to die!
YOU ARE READING
Red vs blue and purple
FanfictionO'Malley and Lopez escaped and something destroyed their robot armor. Sabine had another flashback and she remembers that she has a brother, that might not be alive. The red are back in blood gulch and Simmons sees a tank, that nobody believes. The...
