Red vs blue and purple

Sneaking In

Fade in to the Blue guys guarding the temple/base that Tex and Sabine are supposed to attack

Blue Grunt 1: Hey Reds! We're guarding the shit outta this wall, you suck!

Red Grunt: Your wall's easy to guard, try ours!

Blue Grunt 2: You don't even have a roof up there, you suck. What're you guarding it from, birds?

Red Grunt: You suck.

Blue Grunt 2: You suck.

Blue Grunt 1: You suck.

Red Grunt: You suck.

Blue Grunt 1: You suck.

Blue Grunt 2: You suck.

Blue Grunt 1: You suck.

Red Grunt: You suck.

Blue Grunt 2: No you do!

Red Grunt: We suck. No you suck.

Blue Grunt 1: Okay never mind.

Blue Grunt 2: You suck!

Where Tucker, Caboose, Crunchbite and Andy were hiding. Tucker rolled his eyes and groans at the familiar voices.

Tucker: Oh, those guys? How did they get here?

Caboose looks and him and puts his finger in front of his mouth as a shushing motion.

Caboose: Shush. Tex told us to be quiet.

Tucker: Caboose, we're three hundred yards away. I don't think they heard us.

A red grunt turns his head and looks where the hiding team were.

Red Grunt: I think I heard something.

Tucker: I'm sure that was just a coincidence.

Tex and Sabine arrive inside the temple

Andy: Alright. After they takes out those three one by one, we probably stand a chance.

Tex and Sabine start beating on one of the Blue grunts

Blue Grunt: Ow, what the hell, that hurt! Ow!

Andy: Or maybe not.

Blue Grunt: Ow! Ow! Jesus! Ow! Stop it!

Tucker: Uh oh.

Blue Grunt: What the hell? Ow, ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

Second Blue Grunt: Heugh... So, did you watch the game last night?

Red Grunt: Yeah, go Red.

Second Blue Grunt: screw that, Red sucks.

Blue Grunt: Now you're shooting me! Give me a break, this sucks! What the hell did I ever do to you?! COME ONNNN!

Tucker: What the hell, are they deaf?

A sniper shot hits behind Tucker

Tucker: Oh right, that you heard?

A plasma grenade lands on the Blue grunt at the turret and blows him up.

All the Grunts: Huh?

That First Blue Grunt: What?

Tex: Hiya fellas. Who's next?

All the Grunts: Charge!

They charge, Tex mows them down with two SMGs, proving once again that she's a total badass.

One of the grunts gets shot down and they see Sabine aiming her pistol at them.

Sabine: Hello there.

As they killed the grunts, the others outside watch as it happens.

Tucker: That went well. So much for a sneak attack.

Cut to Donut talking on Red Base back in the Gulch to Sarge and Grif who woke up.

Donut: And that's how I rescued you both, and saved the day. The end. Any questions?

Grif: Donut, that was the longest story I have ever heard. And I don't think I believed a word of it.

Sarge: And quite frankly I found the showtune in the middle to be a little over the top.

Donut: Every word is absolutely true. It was the best military operation that you two ever slept through.

Grif: If everything went so well, then where's our jeep?

Donut: Well, I have a song I'd like to sing about that.

Grif: Forget it.

Cut to Church and Blue Simmons spying on the Reds through Church's sniper rifle

Church: Okay, that red one? That's Sarge. He's their leader, which is lucky for us because... well he's not that good a leader.

Simmons: Okay.

Church: And the one next to him is Donut. I like Donut, he's pretty harmless man, I, I don't think he'd hurt a fly.

Simmons: Yeah, plus he's a little...

Church: A little, what?

Simmons: You know.

Church: No I, no I don't know.

Simmons: You know, he's kinda into, girly stuff like ...feelings, and... da- you know.

Church: Uh, I think you might be projecting, there.

Simmons: I'm not projecting, I'm just stating an observation.

Church: I don't know man. You seem pretty defensive for somebody who's not projecting.

Simmons: His armor is pink.

Church: Pink, I wouldn't say pink, maybe... you know, slightly less red, but-

Simmons: It's pink, trust me. I know pink when I see it.

Church: Uh yeah, I bet. You wanna talk about it?

Simmons: No.

Church: They have a girl on their team as well, she's not here right now and don't piss her off. She's as scary as hell when she gets mad.

Simmons: (gulps in fear) Got it.

Church: And last is the orange one, that's Grif. He's really lazy, and really annoying.

Simmons: Yeah.

Church: But, at least he's smart. In fact I think he might be the smartest one of the bunch.

Simmons: You mean smarter than all of the ones there now.

Church: No I mean all of them put together man, there's this other guy, who hangs around, in maroon armor? I haven't seen him in a while but he's a freakin' know-it-all man. He acts like he's smart, but he's really not.

Simmons looks at him surprised.

Simmons: What?

Church: Yeah he walks around like he owns the place, and, you know he- you know, but nobody listens to him, and they always make fun of him behind his back.

Simmons: What do they say?

Church: Oh just how he's not good at stuff, and how he's dumb, and how the stuff he likes is dumb, and also that, you know, he's not as attractive as other people are.

Simmons starts to cry.

Simmons: (Sniff, then as if holding back tears) Man, he sounds like a real jerk.

Simmons runs off

Church: Hehey, where ya goin'?

Simmons: I have to use the bathroom.

Church: Well, u-hurry up man, I wanna finish your orientation before you have to make me dinner.

They watch him leave as Sheila looks at Church.

Sheila: ...You do know that's Simmons, right?

Church grins and looks at her.

Church: Oh yeah.