Random Cookierun Ships Oneshots( DISCONTINUED ?? )

Random shit🤸‍♂️

Just random shit of Vampire drunk ass. He was very, very, very, very, high. Everything is an illusion

Warning,

Some second hand embarassments,

Most importantly he twerks.

(Why did I make this? Well this got inspired by a certain Tartali oneshot, and besides I got bored and I hate Childe's musty pubes)

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Vampire's pov:

It was just another very normal day, I was in the kitchen making food for the rats because I forgot to feed them. Plus they're fat but whatever, I'm going to overfeed them so they can explode.

After the fat ass rats finally exploded from the amazing food I made. (I cannot cook) I then went inside my bedroom once again putting on my wonderful lion costume and started to twerk.

Alchemist then ate my whole entire bedroom's door, screaming as she choked on the doorknob.

"VAMPRIE, WHY THE FUCK IS THERE FAT RAT BLOOD EVERYWHERE IN THE KITCHEN"

"Ur mom" I laughed loudly as I jumped out of the window because I can, and started to float while singing 'I believe I can fly'

I then see Espresso getting railed by Madeleine in the woods but I decided not to interfere and head to Sparkling's bar elegantly.

I then arrive at Sparkling's bar, crashing into the whole entrance as Mint Choco who was about to enter exploded and flew up to space.

"Oh Vampire, you're here!" Herb said with a smile and a wave. Damn I didn't even listen, I was just looking at his huge ass of a dump truck.

"Yo nice ass" I said smugly as Sparkling then throws a glass of wine at my face.

I then glanced at Sparkling before turning him into Nyan cat as he then flew into another universe as I gave off a 'thank you'.

I awsomely went onto the stage and started to twerk as Mint Choco's gf came out of nowhere and started to hit me with her Hot cocoa mug of shit.

Making me fell on the floor bleeding as I drank grape juice as if my ass wasn't getting kicked rn by a girlboss.

"HOW DARE YOU KILL MY BF" Hot Cocoa shoutef with tears in her eyes. I just gave her a blank stare and turned into an earth worm, leaving the bar and went to where that dark enchantress lady was and oneshotted her cause I'm epic.

I then fell asleep because I don't know why and started to dream about unicorn farts and grapes riding on grapes on grapes riding on grapes riding on grapes riding on grapes riding on grapes riding on grapes and gacha Dream and gogy wogy was there making out so I killed them because I don't like them.

I then remembered having another dream of being twerked on by a thhiicccccccccccccccccccccc grape juice but turns out it was herb so I ate him.

I then wake up to see gay rags crying infront of the dork enchantress dead lady because he's gay.

I then walked to him and whispered into his ear seducively, "gay gay homosexual gay". He then pounced on me immedietly and rode me like a whore and I cam grape juice so he died cause hes allergic to that shit.

I then went back to sleep on a tree and got hit by a squirrel who looked like alchemist so we both fought eachother until this green twink named Windarcher came out of nowhere and took the squirerll, accusing me of hurting it when it fucking smacked my beautiful face.

"Go cry about it you red-head." The wind twink said, so I cried and said "ur so mad lmao"

I then thought about drugs and wine and then sparkling came out of nowhere, but he wasn't nyan cat anymore. He was john cena so I couldn't see him but he gave me wine so I said thank you once again and left to go back home.

Alchemist was infront of the door waiting for me, she was so angry that she turned into that fat red angry man in that movie called 'inside out' and scolded me.

I just ignored because I was hot and went back to bed,

And then a meteor came out of nowhere, killing all of earthbread so we all died.

END
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Vampire's stories are sure great

Word count: 725