Remember me...

14. The man who got away...

Zhan trembled when Yibo's hands cupped his cheeks and his moans were loud as Yibo's tongue stroked into his mouth making him dizzy with its intensity and aggressiveness. Yibo licked, sucked, bit at his mouth and Zhan was owned by him again in that moment. Like a starved man, Zhan roamed his hands over every inch of Yibo he could reach, his mouth opened wide and his tongue eager for Yibo's passion. Yibo sucked onto Zhan's lower lip and bit it softly before pulling back minutes later to see Zhan's flushed face, swollen and reddened lips and the arousal he felt against his thigh was everything Yibo had imagined innumerable times in his dreams. Everything was blurry around him except for Xiao Zhan. His face was all he could see, his moans all he could hear and Yibo's entire body came alive at Zhan's intoxicating touch. Feeling a hunger that threatened to make him lose his mind, Yibo dropped his lips again to Zhan's but this time the kiss was gentler and sweeter making fireworks light up in his heart. He held Zhan tighter and vowed he would never let Zhan go. This man was going to be his and his alone.

Zhan gasped under Yibo...his mind, body and soul completely surrendered to the man and Zhan felt more like himself than he had in the last three years. His mouth still tingled from their consuming kiss and seeing Yibo's face above him felt like coming back home, it felt like Zhan was loved again. Yibo saw a soft look in Zhan's face and something in him calmed down, he felt finally content with having Zhan's arms around him. It was elemental, the need and hunger he felt for this man and Yibo had every intention of satisfying himself but before that, he had to make Zhan understand what they were doing. "Every night for the past year I dream of someone walking away from me", he began and brought Zhan's hand to his face, pressing it against his cheek to feel the additive sparks on his skin again. "I don't know his name, don't know what he looks like, just see a silhouette of him walking away from me and it hurts. I wake up with dried tears on my face, my voice hoarse and while all of that doesn't bother me much, my gut twists when I think of him leaving me. Feels as if he is taking my life away with him. I feel anger, frustration and helplessness in every part of me because I can't stop him." "Why don't you stop him?", Zhan asked softly and Yibo dropped his eyes from Zhan's to his chest as if he couldn't bear to look into Zhan's eyes. "I am bound in chains. I can't see them but I feel their weight on my limbs and...I see them holding the other end of my chains." "Them?", Zhan asked before he could stop himself and Yibo's expressions twisted into a look of misery that made Zhan worried. "My uncle and someone else...maybe the man who made me this way", supplied Yibo and Zhan's heart ached at the words. Was Yibo feeling this all this while? Bound and out of control? Is this why he was acting out and trying to take the rein in his hands? "My uncle and that man hold the other end of the chains and when I try to get up and stop you, they pull at me and I collapse on the ground. I scream at my uncle, cuss at both of them...sometimes I beg them but they don't let go." "It might not be me in your dreams so, why are you telling me this?", Zhan found himself saying, feeling cold all of sudden and the arms around him tightened again as Yibo gathered him close, his mouth at Zhan's ears.

"I feel you are him. I know you are. The man who got away from me. That night at the club when you walked away from me, I didn't make the connection then but it came to me slowly that maybe that's why I feel this way." Zhan knew he should put a stop to all of this right now and leave while he still could but he still jumped into the rabbit hole and asked, "What way?" A deep sigh left Yibo and his mouth brushed Zhan's ear, the action making Zhan shiver. "My world is dark, Xiao Zhan. It closes up on me but when I think of you...it lights up. There is only you and none of my demons dare to get close. Ever since meeting you, my dreams...they aren't that frequent anymore. Not the bad ones, atleast. Lately, I have been dreaming of us laughing together, eating hotpot together...you curled up in this bed against me and it feels good....It feels right." Tears pricked Zhan's eyes at the words and he raised his hands to Yibo's head, threading his fingers through Yibo's hair. "What if one day you find out that I am not that man. What if he was someone else? Will you throw me away?" Zhan's voice was small as he said the words and Yibo tried to straighten up and see Zhan's face but Zhan held strong, hiding his face and tears in Yibo's neck. It was only a few moments later that Zhan felt a press of lips beneath his ear before Yibo's warm breath was at his ear again. "I know you have your reasons to deny what I say. Whether you are him or not, I won't let you go, Xiao Zhan. Now that I have had you in my arms this is exactly where you'll stay. I don't care what anyone says. Ever since waking up on that hospital bed, this is the first time I feel I can breathe without watching over my back. I can finally rest in your arms. I need you, Zhan. I need us."