I wrote this so many times and I'm still not sure about it but anyway enjoy!
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I hoped things would work, I had been unrealistic and thought that it could be okay, not seeing her made me become miserable.
I needed more than just some phone calls but I knew she wasn't ready for something else, and I didn't want to force her to do anything, I wanted her to take her time, I knew she hadn't made a decision yet So I made mine, I wasn't getting any younger and she deserved someone that was able to grow with her.
She needed someone who wasn't a constant reminder of her past relationship, someone that wasn't me.
I've been painfully aware that we were slowly growing apart.
I didn't want to be selfish and ask her to stay but I was also scared that all the space I was willingly giving her was soon going to become an unreachable distance, and she would quickly become far.
The truth was that perhaps neither of us was ready, I still couldn't stop blaming myself for what happened and she was still struggling with it.
I thought maybe the drive back home would ease the anguish that for weeks wouldn't leave me but it was wishful thinking.
There was something I had to do.
I wasn't going to act like some coward and do it through call or even worse through text, those conversations had to happen face to face.
Some part of me wished that I had misread the whole situation, that I was going to be able to look into her deep brown eyes while caressing her soft cheeks and tell her how I felt about this whole situation.
After 40 minutes of driving back home, I wasn't able to go out of the car before I had to at last call her first.
I took out my phone but before I could even insert the digits of her number her name popped on the screen.
Without a doubt, I answered the call, now even more focused on at last asking her to meet.
"I can't do this anymore" for a moment I thought that the line was distributed and that what I had heard was just my voice, but then I understood, she was saying the exact same thing.
I wasn't wrong after all, I hadn't misread the situation…although, I still wanted to do this face to face.
"Before you say anything, I would like to meet you Elide, if you aren't ready that's okay, but-"
