𝐔𝐆𝐇! {𝐋. 𝐇𝐨𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝}

Four

Trigger warning: Mentions of insomnia, anorexia and depression in this chapter, please read at your own risk.

It was a normal occurrence for Faith to hang out at Fez's house and get high, and today happened to be one of those days.

Faith was in love with Lexi Howard, like I said everyone knew it minus Lexi. Everyone also knew how much Lexi loved her back, except Faith, of course, oblivious idiots, so here Faith was, sitting with her her two brother figures/drug dealers.

"Woah, slow down, Tiger. That shit is raw. It hits harder than anything else," said Fez, slightly confused to why Faith was currently snorting more cocaine than usual. "What happened? And don't gimme that bullshit, bruh. Cut to the fuckin' chase and talk," said Fez, giving Faith the big brother look.

Ashtray, who was sat beside Faith, moved away uncomfortably when Faith began sobbing uncontrollably.

"I-I don't think I'm good enough for her," Faith cried into her hands, getting pulled into a hug by Fez. "I love her, Fez, I fucking love her."

"Who?" Fez asked, playing oblivious. He knew all about Lexi Howard, of course. Faith spilled everything to him about Lexi two days after what happened at McKay's, and the fact Rue told him all about her too.

"Lexi fucking Howard, who the fuck do you think I'm talking about?" Faith snapped at him, but Fez knew that Faith only snapped at him because of the cocaine. "It's just- I'm not good for her, Fez. I-I feel like I can't breath when she is around now, but she can't be with me, Fez, I'm unstable as fuck, and she-she's just fucking pure," a very high and overwhelmed Faith rambled on into his shoulder.

"Bruh, you gotta fuckin' chill. It's her decision to make if she wanna be wit' you. Not yours. Faith, I've been looking out for your ass since you came to this town, there ain't no one like you here," said Fez, holding her at arms length. "You really need to get the fuck out of your self loathing phase. We're talking about Lexi fucking Howard. The girl who always knew what she wanted, but can't compete because she's always in her sisters fucking shadow. You said it yourself, she's independent."

"She is, Fez, but what if I lose her?" Faith pleaded with him, desperate to know the answers. "What if I tell her I like- no. What if I tell her that I love her and ruin anything we've ever had between us? Oh, God, I will kill myself right there."

"You're being over dramatic as fuck right now," said Fez bluntly, sitting back in his chair. He watched her make another two lines of cocaine with her credit card and snort it before continuing. "You won't, Faith. You got love there like you've always wanted. Yes, it's got the ability to destroy you, all love got that, but how will you know what it had store for you if you don't go for it?"

Faith sniffed, wiping the white powder off her nose as she slumped down. Ashtray moved closer to her again now that she was calmed down, and placed his hand on top of hers, giving it a small squeeze which made Faith smile.

"How do you know she is gonna reject you? Even if she does, she won't ever leave you, Faith," said Fez, removing any lasting cocaine from the table so Faith wouldn't be tempted by it. "The girl doesn't have a single bad bone in her body."

"I know, but-"

"No buts," said Ashtray, speaking up for the first time since Faith arrived. "You're Faith Morales. My older sister. One of the greatest people I've ever known in my fucking life. Don't you ever dare say that you don't deserve anything. You deserve the world. You deserve the love that is passionate and the one you can grow into," he went on, causing Faith to pull him into a hug.

"Who made you guys so wise?" Faith mumbled into Ashtray's shoulder.

"We're serious, Faith. You won't know until you give it a chance," Fez continued on for his little brother. "We're telling you now, if you don't grow balls and tell her how you feel, you will be a whiny little bitch after few years. You will be sitting here, stoned out your fuckin' mind, talking about lovey dovey shit and stuff, "if I had grown balls and asked her out" type bullshit. The things would have been different. So don't wait for it, seize the fuckin' moment and make it yours."