shenanigans

18| dadtention

.°( 18 )°.

"Man this sucks ass." Sanzu quietly whined.

We were ten minutes into detention with thirty more minutes, the teacher locked us in knowing Sanzu would escape the second he left the class.

"Y/n." Sanzu called, walking away from the door and coming my way. "What?" I mumbled sketching on the back of my worksheet.

"What are you drawing?" He inquired taking a seat besides me. Haruchiyo isn't a very talkative outgoing person from what I've heard but detention him proves otherwise.

"Cats."

"It's as ugly as shit."

"BRO WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU THAT'S RICHARD AND-"

"OOOH GREAAT HEAVENS! L/N, SANZU," The teacher rushed to unlock the door, his belly bouncing in the process. "THAT'S TEN MORE MINUTES FOR YA!" He screamed shutting it behind him.

"Tsk damned fatso let's pray he uses those ten minutes to work ou-" Sanzu's rant was cut off short by a knock at the window.

The boy's walk halted as soon as he saw the thing outside. "Whose...uh whose grandpa is this...?"

"Hello?" Sanzu opened the window which was surprisingly not locked. I tried peeking from my desk.

"Is this the post office." The man spoke. Sanzu gave me a look calling me over and so I did.

"Oh mah gawd! Veronica I know I tipped your other strip buddies but I swear I didn't get an std from her!" He cried.

"Did you not just ask if this was a post office gramps?" Sanzu replied sitting down at the window sill.

"ATONE FOR YOUR SINS!" The man hollered as he backflipped.

"Bro got possessed by Taiju."

"DAMNED WILL BE SINNERS WHO DON'T ATONE FOR THEIR SINS!" He grabbed onto the window sill looking like he would pop a vein anytime soon.

"Taiju and him would be a power couple." Sanzu grinned at me, not really fazed by any of this.

"This is northland Bank right...I have some money for you." The man suddenly switched up, taking a few yen notes from his bag.

Do the right thing Sanzu. Do the right thing Sanzu, say no.

"Yes."

"HAVE MY MONEY YOU SLUTS!" The man threw the yen notes at Sanzu. "Hag really tryna give me a third scar."

"Damn thanks anyway I guess." He took the money the man was handing and started counting, "8600 yen, sweet."

"I'm kinda starting to feel bad, what if he needed that money I mean look at him...he looks hella goofy." I said.

"Natural selection, if he walks like that," he pointed at the way the man was walking like he got shit stuck up there, "in public and looking like that, the amount of deaths in this city would deadly increase, so in a way he is the devil and my money is earned for as you can see, emotional damage." He sighed.

"This is so Mark Zuckerberg's doing." I sighed looking at the man tripping two more times before getting into a school bus and driving away.

"Well I pray he gets home before expiring and absolutely dissolving into thin air, gratefulness Y/n."

"Uh-huh yup right." I mumbled witnessing the man tip the bus sideways but still managed to get out of it unscathed.

"Bro thinks he's in Tokyo drift." Sanzu shook his head disappointedly.

"SANZU STOP."

Knock knock.

"Get the door." He ordered.

"It's national women's day you get the door."
He just nodded and went to the door. It wasn't even women's day.

"What in the hell?" He backed away from the door, "come look at this."

I walked over to the tiny window on the door and outside was the person who could've possibly snitched.

"I told you it was Bertholeum." He said proudly.

"Man what Bertholeum? That's Kisaki." I backed away for personal safety.

"He looks like a Bertholeum, my bad." He said clicking his tongue in annoyance.

"Tho, how tho you like it?" Kisaki asked smirking smugly.

Me and Sanzu just gave him a confused head tilt.

"Speak clearly four eyed five-head, I can demonstrate a clear conversation by talking to your hairdresser about how shit your hair is."

"Damn the sentence got history." I gave him a supportive back pat.

"Tch, I thaid how tho you like it!?" He repeated, Sanzu's expression changed to an amused one and I was starting to catch on, "sorry couldn't hear ya, what did you say?"

"I THAID HOW THO YOU LIKE IT? DETENTHION!?" He semi screamed, revealing all his teeth.

"DAMN THE BOY GOT BRACES!"

"They're...yellow too." I added, it really didn't suit him, not that anything would.

"Whatever pink head and lil nuth fan, thatth what you geth for thtanding me up on my offer."

"I've got blond hair. That's timeski- PFFT wait she stood you up!?"

"Noth like that I meanth the trade...ugh whatever badbye." He walked away blushing.

"The emotional damage will not be stopping anytime soon L/n." The blond muttered pityingly spinning on his heels to face me.

"Yeah clearly because what the hell just happened..." I sighed going back to my desk and so did he.

"I heard something about a school trip from Koko, I'm not really sure." He placed his head on top of his palms.

"Well I hope it is, I need a getaway from all this bullshit."

"Yeah me too." He agreed.

"What bullshit do you deal with?" I turned to him.

"Rindou."

"Oh right, I'm sorry."

"It's fine I'm a strong man."

"Right."

We ended up passing time by exchanging numbers and prank calling pizza hut which got Sanzu's number blocked because it was Hanma on the line and he was about to lose his job for cussing us out, detention really wasn't that bad.

———

"Alright y'all can leave Also have y'all seen my daddy? he's wrinkly, old and not beautiful." The teacher said as he entered the room.

"Nope." Sanzu gulped but was successful in seeming innocent. "L/n I'm assuming you haven't either." He asked organizing his desk.
"Nope! Goodbye."

"..."

"About emotional damage and therapy do you think you could pay for my (favorite site) order?"

"Y-yeah sure let's just...get the hell out of here first."

"Yeah we should definitely do that."

———
A/n
I swear I'll get my funny back soon in the next chapters
my uploading might be a bit googlogagala so bare w me 😉