Love Grows Where His Camila Goes

11

11

Camila’s POV

Months passed, and Gavin kept on reassuring me that he would be healed. Gavin keeps on fighting, not for himself, but for me. He keeps on the fight because of me. Days became weeks and weeks became months, but it feels just like days. Months pass faster and faster.

He knew that I had faith in him. He knew that I wouldn’t lose hope that someday, he would be free. I am still hoping that someday, he will live a happy and peaceful life.

“Lalaban ka pa naman ulit ‘di ba?”

I looked so hopeful while staring at his face, realizing how peaceful his sleep was. My gaze never left him while I was still holding his hands. I held him in silence for a moment, like we were connecting through our hearts.

“I could still hear your heartbeat, hon,” I told him, it was like he was purposely making me listen to his heart. “Wake up now.”

He was now again lying on a bed, bed of the hospital. Hindi na naman lumaban ‘yung katawan niya. Kinailangan na naman namin siyang dalhin sa hospital dahil hindi na naman niya kinaya. Sa kabuaan ng anim na buwan na iyon, tatatlong beses lang siya nakalabas sa hospital.

Ilang oras pa lamang ang nakakaraan nang dalhin namin siya sa hospital. Iningatan ko naman siya sa mga nagdaang buwan. Hindi ko naman siya pinahingal, hindi ko naman siya pinagod pero bakit kailangan niya na namang bumalik sa hospital?

Iba na ba talaga ang kondisyon niya? For a moment, I am seeing myself being so clueless about medical conditions.

Umawang ang labi ko nang gumalaw ang isa niyang daliri. Kumurap ako at inabangan ang muling paggalaw ng daliri niya. Sa muling pagkakataon ay nakita ko ngang gumalaw ang kamay niya.

“Hold on, I will call the doctor,” I commanded and immediately left his room.

I looked for the doctor’s ward and also asked the nurses if they’d seen the doctor of Gavin. A few minutes had passed and the doctor finally went to Gavin’s room.

They did some actions and checked those vital signs thingy. I don’t know what they were talking about earlier. I just saw that they did some unfamiliar actions, and they talked about unfamiliar checkings.

“What do you feel?” I asked, immediately.

He looked at me, seriously. “I’m fine, don’t worry.” He answered, but I couldn’t feel the sincerity of him.

“Okay, that’s good. Do you want water? Do you feel thirsty?” I asked again, looking for assurance. Nawalan ako ng tapang malaman kung ano talaga ang kalagayan niya. Alam kong ayaw din ni Gavin na kinaawaan siya. I might offend him.

He didn’t answer my question, instead, he stares at his hand. His hand has a intravenous saline drip on it. Nakatulala lang si Gavin sa kamay niya, hindi nagsasalita, at hindi man lang niya ako sinagot.

Tahimik lang din akong nakatingin sa kaniya. Para pa akong napako sa kinatatayuan ko habang nakatingin kay Gavin. Pakiramdam ko maiiyak na naman ako dahil sa eksenang ito ng buhay ko.

Napailing siya habang nakatingin sa mga makina bago siya nagsalita. “Ilang buwan na, akala ko makina na lang ang bubuhay sa akin.”

Natigilan ako at nakaramdam ng pag-asa sa mga salitang binitiwan ni Gavin. Pakiramdam ko mas malala pa sa sakit itong nararamdaman ko ngayon. Hindi ko alam kung pipilitin ko pa bang lumaban si Gavin para sa akin, o hahayaan ko nalang siyang magpahinga.

Matamlay ang mga matang tumingin sa akin si Gavin. Mapait akong napangiti nang magsalubong ang aming mga mata. Ngumiti ako bago mahinang natawa nang mapait. Lahat mapait, ni–hindi ko na makita ang matatamis na ngiti sa mga mata ni Gavin.