A Necessary Journey

How Did It All Go Wrong

You all had me feeling sorry for poor Omer, so I thought I should post an update. The poor guy was getting a tough time. I'm glad that the title of the last chapter had you thinking that it was going to be a bit of fluff though, that was the intent. Do I agree with Omer sleeping around? No. But in this story, he did it once, and I think that it was understandable. He was angry, and heart broken, and I imagine at that point that the thought of ever being with Defne again was the furthest thing from his mind. But maybe this is our opportunity to see Omer go through some of what Defne suffered. 

She stumbled into the house, mind blank, eyes unseeing, and made her way up the stairs towards her room. Her grandma met her at the top and frowned in confusion. 

"Defne?  I thought you had to work?"

"It's okay Grandma... it's finished."

Turkan frowned when Defne walked straight past her, into the bedroom and closed the door behind her. Shaking her head and rolling her eyes, she raised her hands heavenward and made her way down the stairs, tutting to herself. 

In the room, she shrugged out of her jacket, out of her boots and fell onto the bed, dragging the covers around her, before burying her face in her pillow and sobbing. Muffling the sounds of her tears with the feathered pillow. Her heart, broken.

Across town, Omer was in no better a state. The ground floor of the townhouse received the same treatment as the first floor, with every single item that he could move being upturned. But the rage that he felt was directed at no one other than himself. He did this. He did this to them.

His mind still couldn't quite grasp that he was going to be a father, fathering the child of a woman he didn't know, a woman who lived in a different country. His back was pressed against the wall where his dining table had once sat, now upturned, a bottle of whisky in his hands, unopened.

He'd always thought that he'd be overwhelmingly happy on the day he learned he would be a father, over the past year, he'd only ever imagined Defne having his child. But the images of the young girl with her mother's beautiful red hair and her amber eyes would never materialize. Now it was a bottomless void.

He'd destroyed the fragile trust that Defne had in him, they were just getting back to good again, building on their old foundations, but now he'd managed to raze their entire relationship to the ground, in the face of one mistake. One huge, life changing mistake.

Defne would never come back to him, the woman who was abandoned as a child by both parents was so damaged by that experience that he knew, this was the end, she'd perhaps forgive him over time, but she'd never come back to him. Next to the lie she'd told him, what he had done was immeasurable, there was no fixing it.

He rested his head against the wall, face turned towards the ceiling, thinking of what this meant for his life now. Wondering how Defne was feeling, if she might talk to him when she had a chance to get over the shock. This morning, he'd been so excited to give her something that would symbolise his commitment to her, show her that she would forever have him by her side, and within the space of an hour, their entire world had been crushed. 

His head was a mess, he didn't know what to do. He wanted Defne, more than he'd ever wanted anything in his life, but even though this child was created in anger, it wasn't the child's fault. He would need to meet his obligations as a father, but how he might do that was unclear at the minute. 

His mind replayed his conversation with Sonia, sitting on a bench at the embankment. 

He glanced at her as she fiddled with the strap of her bag, her eyes cast down at her fingers. 

"Sonia... why are you here?"

She met his eyes and took a deep breath. "I'd have come sooner, but it took a while to track you down."