Warning ⚠️: Language, violence, sad.
He's so perfect. From how he smiles so adorably to how he walks down the halls. His hair just looks so fluffy and soft that I just want to run my hands through it, just to see.
Yet I know he's not mine to have but it doesn't mean that I can't fantasize about what would happen if we were together. From him helping me study and holding my hand to small kisses here and there between classes.
I see the way he looks at her. I see the way he looks at Gwen and it breaks me. It's like someone is driving a knife into my heart. But instead of them doing it once the knife is repeatedly being drove into my heart yet the more they do it, the deeper it goes.
They're inseparable. They're always found next to each other. Last time I almost saw them kiss. They were seated on the bleachers at the football field. Im so glad that one of the players threw the ball at them. It's mean for me to be so jealous of them but I can't help it. Why does everyone always pick her? Why does no one want me? Am I just not good enough? Am I not pretty?
I close my diary and scanned the field I was in. It was my off period and I was sitting on the football field. I threw my diary into my school bag and closed it. I stood up and started to make my way back inside. I still had about fifteen minutes left until I had to go to Biology.
I turned the corner to see Gwen and Peter talking. He had his skateboard in his left hand. I walked back around the corner so I can eavesdrop but came to my senses. I can't do this it's wrong, I thought in my head. I turned the corner again and started to walk past them.
Gwen shot me a smile so I had to fake a smile back. Why is she so nice?, I said to myself. "Hey Aura", she said in a sickly sweet voice. I had past them so I had to turn around. "Hey Gwen", I said. That was it she didn't say another word to me. He didn't even look at me. I turned around to walk away when she said something else.
"Hold up I wanna walk with you", she said making me turn around yet again. She turned back around saying goodbye and they kissed. I felt a pinge of pain as they kissed I looked elsewhere so the tears wouldn't flow down my cheeks.
The burning liquid was already clouding my eyes which made me barely see as is. I soon blinked them away so they wouldn't suspect a thing.
"Hey Aura maybe we could catch up later..it's been a while since we've spoken to each other", Peter spoke giving me his goofy smile that he would always give me when we were growing up. "Ya i'd like that", I said smiling.
"Umm...how about after school at the new cafe", he said. "Sure", I spoke back a little bit too quickly. Instantly regretting how fast I was speaking and how high pitched my voice was I started calming down my breathing. "Ok see you then", he said and kissed Gwen's cheek making me start to tear up again.
"Ya", I probably sounded disappointed because he glanced my way which made me shift under his gaze.
Gwen made her way to me as Peter walked the way I had came from. It was silent for a while as I had made my way towards my locker. I started to twist the lock when she broke the unpleasant silence, "I have a feeling you don't like me", she stated.
"What makes you say that", I muttered trying to fake a sweet voice. "Just the way you look at me", she said. "Oh...we'll I don't", I said opening my locker and shoving my school bag in. I don't not like her. In fact...I loathe her. Hate is just such a strong word.
I took out my biology book and a pen. I checked myself in the small mirror to see if my hair and makeup still looked presentable.
I shut my locker to still see her. "Ok.. maybe I miss read it or something", she said and we started walking again. "I was probably looking at someone else", I said staring straight ahead.
