words don't come that easy.

x

06.02.22
22:03

I wake and walk the dog; turn my face upward and bathe in peach sunrise. my neck, stiff like a roll of nickels. body takes in every moment like a hammer to my xylophone spine. I know I'm sick, I'm sleeping so well. I remember every dream. in one, my mother hands me a letter, promising an apology. I open it and she writes how sorry she is for never recycling. in another, I shake a shampoo bottle and a small city falls out; silver traffic stops and a Thanksgiving parade marching across my palm, high school trumpeters and buoyant off-brand Snoopy. I'll feel better soon. I'll take my time; curl up all afternoon between a few pages, lose myself under the covers when a migraine plays Twister behind my eyes. something about this feels so lonely. my arms lay open in my sleep, waiting to hook around something they can hold. I know, it'll pass soon enough. I'll throw open the windows once the fever eases. the world will be so loud again. I'll notice the loneliness less.

/// got a speech thing tomorrow that i am not looking forward to. here's to me not hopefully screwing it up, cheers.