Stuck in the Middle| Mosh

Mental health spiral🖤

Indiana: I talked to him about you and him.
Mads: Indi! I said no.
Indiana: look I needed to get the truth out of him.
Mads: well, I don't want to know.
Indiana: Mads, the day you woke up from the coma...Josh slept with Nessa.

It was pretty quiet. I didn't know how to react to be honest.

Mads: ok.
Indiana: that's it?
Mads: yeah. I mean what do you want me to say? We weren't dating so he could go sleep with whoever he wants for all I care.
Indiana: yeah, I don't believe this.
Mads: what do you want me to do?
Indiana: oh I don't know talk to him.
Mads: no, thank you.
Indiana: you can't just hold in your feelings.
Mads: I can so I've been doing it for over ten years now.
Indiana: just at least attempt to when you get back.
Mads: I'll try.

*The next morning*

I grabbed my suitcase and was wheeling it to airport security.

Riley: are you ready?
Mads: yeah, but I didn't really get a lot of sleep last night.
Riley: really?
Mads: yeah, everything and everyone is stressing me out. The time when I wasn't stress was when I was in a coma.
Riley: but everyone was sad and scared you weren't going to wake up.
Mads: were they though? If you really think about it we're they? They only care when you're on your deathbed.
Riley: I feel like you're talking about Jaden.
Mads: I'm talking about everyone. It's crazy how they were at my bed side, but as soon as I get out of the hospital I don't hear another word from them.
Riley: like I said you don't need them. One day you'll find that one person that won't leave.
Mads: I do I have Indi and I had you know...but I think I drove him.

I feel like she can read my face and know exactly who I'm talking about.

Riley: let's get through security.

We go through then go to the gate. I feel like I'm going to burst into tears. I've been holding in so much since the accident. I tried to avoid thinking about the accident, because it reminds me of the videos and I hate seeing them. I fight back the tears as the videos I seen on the internet keep repeating in my head, but I didn't even realize Riley was calling my name.

Riley: Mads!
Mads: yeah?
Riley: are you okay?

I wanted to tell her, but I don't want her worrying about me.

Mads: yeah.
Riley: ok, let's go to our gate.

We walked to our gate, and I hand the man my ticket and I went on the plane. I sit by the window while Riley sits on the out seat. I just stare outside the window; oh what I would do to go home and curl up into a ball right now. Sadly I can't, I made a promise to the fans, and I can't break that promise.

*A few hours later*

We finally made it to the hotel and I'm so exhausted, but I really wanted to go to Time Square before the day was over.

Riley: you ready?
Mads: yeah.

I grabbed my bag and I made sure my skirt was covering the scar on my stomach. I hate looking at that in the mirror, but I have no choice it's there, and it won't go away. I grab my water and we catch an Uber to Time Square.

Surprisingly I actually had fun. Riley and I were walking around Time Square and met some fans. It was actually really fun.

madslewis