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It's been exactly 2 weeks since River had started tutoring me and let's just say it hasn't been the easiest 2 weeks either.
River and I haven't gotten the hang of this whole tutor/student relationship thing if you can call it that. I have learned more about her so that's a win I guess.
She likes to get an Iced White Mocha to stay awake especially when she stays at the dance studio to rehearse hours on end. How do I know this? She has these dark circles under her eyes that tell you she hasn't slept well.
She also likes to practice till she practically falls apart whenever I see her. She always needs to have an ice pack on a bruise due to her falling so much.
Aside from those I had noticed small things as well. Like how her favorite color is blue, how she loves to read, how she even whispers to herself in Spanish as she gathers her thoughts without even knowing it.
I knew Leo had a cousin that he was extremely close to I just didn't expect it to be River. I was shocked when I heard his voice through the phone but was more shocked when River spoke Spanish.
Yes, I heard people speak Spanish before, but when she was speaking it was as if I was hearing the foreign language for the first time.
Her voice was soft, breathy even. I didn't even know I was staring at her as she talked to Leo until she had hung up the phone. I was too busy thinking about how she would sound as I held her body to mine, as sweat coats our body's as they move along each other.
I shake my head at the thought that now is not the time to get hard, especially as I am standing outside of her dorm door waiting to be let in. I raise my fist to knock again but before my knuckles can tap against the wood the door swings open.
Nora, one of River's roommates, opens the door. She is dressed in a pair of flared jeans with a long-sleeved crop top hugging her chest, her hair in black braids with a spark of yellow in them.
She raises a brow at me knowing that I'm not usually here on Thursday nights. But I forgot to return Rivers's textbook yesterday and I just remembered it so I decided just to stop by and drop it off on my way to the library.
"I came to drop off one of River's textbooks. I forgot to give it back yesterday," I tell her as I gesture to my right arm that is hanging to my side as I hold a textbook in my hand.
She nods before speaking. "She's in her room. Just knock before going in." She says as she opens the door wider letting me in. I thanked her before making my way to River's room.
It takes two knocks before she opens the door, her eyes widened as she looks at me. She wears an oversized hoodie that says '𝐺𝑜 𝐴𝑤𝑎𝑦 𝐼'𝑚 𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔' with a pair of black shorts with socks and her wavy hair in a low ponytail.
"Oh god, is today a tutoring day? I'm so sorry I must have forgotten you can come in, let me just find my notes!" She says all at once In such a hurry I barely have time to process what she said.
"It's not a tutoring day. I just forgot to give back your textbook yesterday, sorry for making you freak out," I tell her as I run my free hand through my hair as nerves bubble in my stomach from being near her.
Nerves? I don't think I have ever been nervous just from being in someone's presence. It's weird but I push away the feeling as I see Rivers relax .
I didn't realize that I had grabbed her hand rubbing small shapes with my thumb against her skin. I go stiff as I see her look down at our hands before looking back at my face and clearing her throat. I take the hint pulling my hand away from hers.
"Oh um thanks you can put it on my desk." She says moving back some and opening the door more for me. I walk through going to her desk and placing the textbook carefully on it before turning around.
When I turn back around I see two big bookshelves one with albums and the other with books. As I walk towards it I trace one of the spines to one of my favorite books. I feel Rivers gaze on me as I do so.
'𝑅𝑜𝑠𝑒𝑠 & 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝐹𝑙𝑎𝑚𝑒𝑠' the title reads.
"Have you read it?" I ask, turning my head enough to see River sitting on her bed as her gaze meets mine. She nods her head and I try to hold back a small smile.
"Did you?" She asks suddenly. I turn around to her fully while holding the book in my hand as I search through it.
"Yeah, it's one of my favorites," I say as I flip pages. I look over at her and see her watching me.
"Who's your favorite character?" She asks. I can see the curiosity in her eyes.
"Aayla," I say as a small smile forms on my face seeing River's annotations in the book.
"Why?"
Because I know what it feels like to have everything you could wish for but still feel incomplete. Like you were looking for something or someone but you haven't found them yet. I want to tell her but I don't want to be looked at with pity, especially by her.
"I also annotated mines. If you want I can bring it over next time?" I say, trying to change the subject.
"Yeah sure. If you want you can read through mine." She says calmly as she watches me. When I meet her eyes again I still see the curiosity in her eyes knowing that I changed the subject to avoid answering her questions but she doesn't speak about it she just lets it slide.
"I'll bring mine over so we can switch copies," I reply, clearing my throat trying to clear whatever tension is there. I say goodbye before leaving and going back to my dorm instead of going to the library as I walk in I am greeted by Leo making food.
"Hey, where were you?" He asks as I walk into the kitchen.
"I went to give River back her textbook. She let me borrow it the other day and then we got caught up talking about a book we both read," I tell him honestly. There is no point in lying to him when there is nothing to hide.
"Y'all like friends now?" His voice wearily.
"I guess I don't know," I say, shrugging my shoulders as I walk to the fridge to grab a cold bottle of water.
"Just asking. Also, I see that you are taking some sort of interest in her, just don't hurt her okay?" His words made me still.
"I won't hurt her but nothing is going on so you don't have to worry," I reassure him.
"Even as just friends or more I just need to make sure she will be safe with you." He says honestly.
"Always" I reply before walking out of the kitchen heading to my room.
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