𝑁𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝐸𝑛𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑒

Chapter 29 |Funeral|

My mother's funeral is today, I had spent the whole morning crying as River held me. Now I have to get ready. As I enter the bathroom I look in the mirror, my eye bags visible and my eyes puffy and red.

I turn on the shower, I take off my clothes before stepping in. I shiver as I feel the hot water touch my body. The tension in my body doesn't go away. Once done with my shower I walk out of the room and see my suit laying on the bed.

River must have laid it out not too long ago. I dry off my body before I start to put my clothes on. As I'm buttoning up my white dress shirt, River walks in.

She was dressed in black trousers and a black dress shirt. She had a belt wrapped around her waist as she wore small simple black heels with the outside.
She hasn't done her hair or makeup yet.

She looks over at me, walks over to me, and starts to finish buttoning my dress shirt. River then grabs the black-tie laying on the bed and places it around my neck. "You okay?" She asks me as she starts to tie my tie.

I nod my head not trusting myself to speak. I wasn't okay, and I don't think I can be fully okay. Once River is done tying my tie she pulls me into her arms hugging me. I relax in her arms almost immediately.

We stand there for a while just holding each other, we pull away when we hear a soft knock at the door. Roman stands at the door, he gives us a soft smile before speaking. "We have to go soon,"

He and the guys were close to mom. She would always come to games and cheer us on. She was like a second mother to them. When I broke the news to them about her passing, they started crying with me.

River tells him that we will be out soon. She gives me a light kiss on my cheek before going to the bathroom. I follow her like a puppy, I watch as she brushes her hair down and puts some water to smooth out her baby hairs.

She doesn't put makeup on instead she just puts on some moisturizer. When she's done she walks over to me and pulls my face into her hands. "You are so strong, you know that?" She whispers to me with a small smile on her lips.

I nod my head, I don't let myself speak. Her fingers caress my skin. She asks me if I'm ready and I whisper a yes to her before we start to walk out of my room. We walk down the stairs and see the guys sitting on the couch in the living room.

They were all wearing suits. Roman was laid back on the couch with his head tilted up towards the ceiling. Greyson sat next to him, he was zoned out as he looked at the floor. Leo was on the other side, he looked down at his fingers as he played with a rubber band.

They all lift their head when they hear River and I walk in. River tells them that we were ready to leave. As we walk out of the house and get into the car we are silent. Leo drives as Greyson sits in the passenger seat.

The rest of us sit in the back, with me in the middle. River sits on my right as she holds my hand. Greyson sits on my left, he stares out the window.

I feel something against my hand, when I look down I see Greyson's hand holding onto mine. I look up and squeeze his hand as if to tell him 'thank you'.

'Fix It to Break It' by Clinton Kane starts to play on the radio. I hold back tears as I listen to the lyrics. We soon arrived at the location where my mother's funeral would take place. Many cars were lined up against the pavement.

I see family members wearing black suits as others wear something different. I spot my father and tell River and the guys that I would be right back. They told me that they would be waiting inside.

I walk towards my father, when he sees me he hugs our family before dismissing himself. When I make it to him, I hug him. We stay there for a while before we pull away. "How are you?" He asks me with a concerned smile.

"Not well, how are you?" I ask. He gives me the same answer. We talked for a little, he asked me if I would like to give a speech today. I told him that I wouldn't be able to pull through one. He nods with understanding.

After a little bit, I told him that I should go take a seat inside. He says that he will see me soon. I nod before going to walk inside. I quickly find River and the guys. They were sitting in the second row.

"Hey," I say as I take a seat between River and Roman. We talk about anything, from hockey strategies to the best fast food places.

We even had a competition between Greyson and me to see who could figure out what Leo and River were saying in Spanish. I needed them to take my mind off what was happening today.

"Chico bonito," River says. Leo gives her a small smile, I look over and see her staring at me. She looks away immediately when she sees me looking at her. I chuckle when a small blush starts to form on her cheeks. (Pretty boy)

"Can you spell it for me and give me a definition?" Greyson asks them. Roman holds in a laugh at Greyson's question, he was the Judge. He knew Spanish. Not a lot but Greyson said that it was an advantage.

Greyson was treating this like a spelling bee but instead of spelling, we were guessing what it meant. River does as she was told and gives him a definition and spells it for him.

"Pretty boy?" I ask them. River had said it to me many times before. I once had asked Leo to spell it for me as I looked it up on a translator app. As the words leave my mouth, River gives me a wide-eyed look.

"Yeah," Is all she said before she was cut off by my father about to give his speech. I feel the gloominess again as reality comes back to me.

~~~~~

After my mother's funeral and burial, it was time to go home. Tears stained my cheeks but I wiped them away. As we get up to leave my dad stops us. "Your mother left notes for you," He tells me.

He holds two out at me, I take them slowly and look at the names that are written on the front of the envelope. River's name was written in my mother's name on one envelope and mine was written on the other.

'𝓡𝓲𝓿𝓮𝓻'

'𝓝𝓸𝓪𝓱'

I look over at River and see her eyeing the envelope with curiosity. She reaches out for the envelope and I hand it over to her. She carefully places it inside her bag. We bid my dad a goodbye and I tell him I'll see him soon.

~~~~~

River told me that she was going to her dorm for a bit to see Nora and Rose and to grab some more close. I eye the envelope in my hand. 'Fuck it' I think to myself and I start to open it. I take a deep breath before I start to read.