Bound To You | PJM

~ 37 ~

Grief comes in waves. It hurts.. it fucking hurts. Jimin was on the ground leaning against the wall, eyes filled with tears but refusing to let them out anymore. It's been more than an hour since you broke the truth out to him and ever since he is been like this. like dead. He couldn't feel anything in the moment. No matter what, Jihyung still was his brother, for better or worse. That bond is a sort of union of souls, the news of losing the other is just worse than own death.

He couldn't believe that his own brother had been dead for so long and he didn't even know. Jimin was too busy letting go of his brother now that he is truly gone, it just crippled him more. He blamed himself for not reaching out when he had the chance, he blamed his ego for stopping himself every time he longed for his brother. But now.. It's too late.

In loss we travel through the waves of grief, in that most unpredictable of emotional storms. If we are blessed there is a lighthouse to navigate toward, a place to go for shelter and warmth. And his warmth is standing right in front of him, you. Yet he cannot gather himself to reach out. He slowly looked up at you only to meet your own pained tear filled eyes. He could see your tightened fist balls and your slightly trembling lips. He knew you were holding back yourself from crashing to him and hugging him. He knew it because he felt the same. But both of you knew that it felt wrong for some reason. And you both needed to hold back those emotions till you both get through this first. 

Gulping down the heavy lump that's stuck in his throat, he hesitantly opened his mouth to speak, "W-will you tell me what.. happened?" He asks in a broken voice and you give a painful nod.

"Give me a second." You whispered before disappearing to your room. Jimin took that moment to move his legs now that the numbness he felt earlier was gone. He lifted himself up and walked over to sit on the couch as he knew he needed to settle properly to take in what's going to come next. He wasn't sure how he will react since he still don't now what happened, but promised himself to hear you out completely.

After few seconds, you walked out of the room with a book clutched to your chest. Jimin recognized it as it was the same book that had a picture of his brother. His hand tightened into a fist as he shifted a bit uncomfortably when you got closer.

"C-can I sit here?" Your voice was small and hesitant. Everything felt thick and awkward, yet Jimin gave a solemn nod and watched you take a seat right next to him on the couch. He noticed that you kept a safe amount of space between you and him in the middle, so he had enough space to turn comfortably to face you as you did the same. 

The tight grip you had on the book loosened as you sucked in a soft breath. You finally looked up to meet his eyes to speak. "Jimin.. before anything else.. there is one more thing that you should know." You say in a painful voice and that twisted Jimin's heart. He didn't know there were more to come and he wondered what else is there to know. Even though he felt scared, he still gave a nod and waited for you.

You bit the corner of your quivering lips to prevent from breaking down or something. He couldn't tell but when your eyes glazed up, he knew this is wrecking you more than he thought. "J-Jae.. is not my son." 

For a moment Jimin's whole world froze once again. His mind completely shutting down as he just stares at you. He's not even breathing as he spaced out for few seconds before coming back to himself. "You.. Jae.. W-what-" he whispers, finally taking a short shaky breath.