Reunited At Last|✔️

8| Worse

People always wonder what love feels like. To be honest, you feel this thing in your chest and you know that if something ever happens to that person you'd die. Not literally, obviously. But love is indescribable. So that's the best description of it that you're gonna get from me.

People say if you love them enough, you'll let them go. If you're a fucked up person, you'll let the other person go, at least until you sort yourself out. You want them to meet the best possible version of you but sometimes they've already met the worst side of you. You let your other half go when you feel that feeling inside of you.

Now, I get that it probably doesn't make much sense. To shorten it, if you love someone so much, you'll let them go for no good reason at all.

Now I don't believe in that, but I believe in letting them go to focus on yourself.

That's what I did. I let him go because of a fucking feeling. Along with other many reasons. Now, I'm not talking about Jordan here because I didn't choose to let him go. Sebastian made that choice for me but I can't blame anybody but myself.

Here I am sat in my hotel room with a champagne bottle next to me, drowning myself in my sorrows. A song sounded loudly through the room. I threw myself back on my bed, realising how much these lyrics relate to me.

I quietly sang along. "I know you won't forgive me and you probably don't believe me. But this isn't easy. No, this isn't easy."

He won't forgive me. None of them will. Neither will Jordan believe me. He knows about my fake death and fake identity. He knows. He's not talking to me now either. He's holed up in his room next door, probably planning my death. I doubt it though, he's too nice to kill me. Dom and Sebastian aren't willing to forgive me and neither will Vin once he finds out.

But they don't understand that none of this has been easy for me. It wasn't easy leaving them all behind.

You're all probably bored of hearing me say the same thing over and over again but no matter how many times I say it, they won't believe me. I need them to believe me.

Why am I drinking champagne and not something harsher? Like vodka or scotch? What if I just drank myself to my death? Putting my innocent liver through all that pain is the only thing stopping me from not drowning myself in alcohol.

My phone suddenly rang. I stopped the music and answered the call, putting the caller on loudspeaker as I threw the phone next to me on my bed.

"Liliana," Valentina spoke sadly through the phone.

"I know," I sighed out. "I've fucked things up for you, haven't I?"

"No, you haven't. Maybe seeing you is what he needed to call off the wedding?"

"So he's called it off?"

"No."

"Then why'd you say it like that?"

"Listen, I know you and I know right now, you're getting drunk. Instead of getting drunk, how about you do something? Make it up to Jordan? Get your friends back and then you can get your man back."

"Sebastian doesn't want me," I scoffed out. "Imagine not wanting me."

"And you're drunk," she confirmed. "Just great."