My time with Mischief

Confession

"You what?" Loki asks, staring blankly at me.
I feel my stomach twist into a knot as nausea swept over me.
What have I done? I've fucked it.

"What did you say?" Loki asks again, his expression unreadable.
"I... I said I love you." I choke, my eyes filling with tears.
"You can't." Loki snapped, standing from the bed and pacing round the room.
"What do you mean I can't?" I question him, my eyes fixed on my hands in my lap.
"You can't love me Safie." He said coldly and I felt my heart shatter.
"Well... I do..." I whisper as tears started to spill down my face.
"Why?!" He shouts and I feel myself get angry.
"What do you mean why Loki?!" I yell, finally looking at him.
"Why do you think you love me?" He says exasperated, running his hand through his raven hair.
"I don't think I love you, I know I love you." I say glaring at him.

"Safie listen to me you can't." Loki says, his voice breaking.
"But I do Loki. I didn't choose to, it just happened." I reply in a softer tone after seeing him in pain.
"But you can't. I don't deserve your love, your affections, your kindness. I don't deserve you. I am nothing but a monster. That much has been made very clear to me my entire life. I am not Loki Odinson, I'm not even Loki Laufeyson. I'm just Loki, son of no one, king of nothing, prince of lies, god of isolation. I am unworthy. In every sense of the word." He says, wiping his eyes and turning away from me to look out of the window.

I wipe my own tears, taking a moment to absorb everything he just said. Feeling like my entire being is dying, knowing how much pain he's in and always has been in.
I slowly get off of the bed and walk over to the window, standing in silence for a few moments just next to him.

"Loki... can you look at me please?" I whisper, gently taking his hand in mind. He slowly turns to face me, tears staining his cheeks. "I'm sorry..." I whisper, my own eyes watering again.
"Why are you sorry?" He asks, pinching his eyebrows together.
"I've upset you..."
"No, you haven't." He whispers.
"Okay... then I'm sorry you feel like that. The only thing that you don't deserve, is the way you've been treated. You have shown me time and time again how kind you are, you always put me first. You're always thinking of everyone else even if you won't admit it. I don't care if you're a king, or a prince Lohk, I never have. I love you, because you deserve to be loved. You are loved. I promise you that." I say softly, wiping the tears from his face.

Loki stands in front of me for a minute, his eyes scanning my face as if looking for a sign I was lying or that this was some big joke.
I put my hand over the necklace he gave me and I closed my eyes.

Please believe me Loki. The time I have spent with you these last couple of months have been a dream. I wouldn't change a single thing about you. Except maybe the way you see yourself.

I don't know what I'd do without you little mortal...

I open my eyes and wrap my arms around Loki's waist, burying my head into his chest.
He slowly puts his arms around me, leaning his cheek on the top of my head.

"I'm sorry for getting angry." He whispers.
"Don't be sorry, I understand and I forgive you." I breathe, squeezing him tighter.
When we pull back from the hug, Loki strokes his thumb over my face as he leans down and gently presses a kiss to my lips.

"Can I ask you something?" Loki asks, sitting on the windowsill in my room.
"Anything." I smile weakly as I sit next to him.
"You and Barnes?" He asks, his eyes searching mine.
"What about me and Bucky?" I say, already knowing.

Loki looks at me with one eyebrow raised as if to say 'you're really going to make me say it?' Before shaking his head and clearing his throat.
"Darling you forget you just gave me access to all of your memories, although I didn't watch everything that's happened between you two it's clear how much you care for each other. In fact it was clear without going into your mind." Loki grimaces. "I suppose what I'm asking is... how can you be sure you love me when you have so much with him?"