Thanatophobia| MICHAEL AFTON x READER

11| "Falling apart"

1st person. Michael Afton POV.

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I stood to the side as they fluffed out the petals of the flowers. By the way, they grinned, I assumed they smelled nice. I took this as a job well done, Michael, and went to sit on the loveseat in the sitting room. My face felt hot.

"Mikey, you really didn't have to get me anything." They hummed, joining me on the cushion beside me. I felt their head lean against my arm, and I instinctively moved it to wrap it around their shoulder. This is how I used to sit with my sister when we would watch movies every Sunday while my mother and father took my brother out.

I felt a lump form in my throat. I've become more melodramatic over this topic lately.

Y/N shifted into a more comfortable position, their head now leaning against the side of my chest. I felt self-conscious being this close so casually. I only ever got this kind of attention from my mother and sister. After my sister's death, however, my mother grew distant. Especially after she left my father and he became more...violent.

Well, more than he already was, at least to me.

I shiver intensely, making Y/N jolt and look up from their position, a frown on their face.

"Are you alright?"

"Fine," I said quickly, scratching my neck with my right hand. "Fine. Fine fine." I repeated, cringing right after.

"Okay..." Y/N moved away from my grasp, making my arm fall off of their shoulders as they stood up and went over to the telly. They didn't turn it on, weirdly enough.

"Sorry," I said so quietly that it could have just been taken as an exhale. I cleared my throat. "Sorry." My voice cracked. "Just stuck in thought."

"I see..." They narrowed their eyes in my direction, their arms crossed. They had their weight leaned onto their left leg, making their hip stick out slightly. I caught myself staring at them again. I blinked and suddenly they were approaching me quickly.

"Hey?" my eyes widened as they stood a foot in front of me, their hands on their lips, their lips pursed. "Did I do something?"

"Er..." They looked like they were hesitating. "No..." They closed their mouth, pursing their lips once more.

"Is something wrong?"

They opened their mouth as if they were going to say something, but all that came out was a sigh. They sat back down beside me on the Loveseat, their arms crossed once more. I felt the air tense.

"No." They said softly. "Not with me, anyway."

"Oh?"

"I want to know what's going on." They frowned, now turning their entire body to face me. I felt my face heat up as their hands handed in mine. "You seem to be stuck in thought a lot."

"Do I?" I squinted my eyes, frowning as they nodded. "Oh."

"It isn't anything bad, Mike." They shook their head, now squeezing my hands slightly. "No, it's okay, but I want to know what's going on. Am I making you uncomfortable?"

"Do I really seem that way?" I tilted my head. I've been acting completely normal?

"Just when I really pay attention. Sometimes you stare off into space, or when I get close, you stiffen up. At work, you seem to just...stare at the robots. And you didn't let me come with you earlier." They took a deep breath. "Do you not like me."

"What? No no! I do! I like you a lot, Y/N!" My voice cracked again. "I just have...certain things to deal with." I pulled my hands back. "Er...dangerous things."

"Like what?" They grabbed my hands again, now lacing their fingers with mine.

"Just...I don't know." I groaned. "I just feel certain things when I'm around those robots. I don't quite understand everything, but I know a lot of them are dangerous..."

There was a pause.

"It isn't anything to do with you, Y/N. You're wonderful!"

"Do you have any relatives?"

"Excuse me?" I squinted my eyes.

"Well..." They hesitated. "That wallet you carry around." They pointed to the counter, next to the flowers. "It has pictures of people in it."

I watched as they stood up and fetched the wallet, opening it so I could see inside as if I didn't know the contents of my own wallet. They pointed to a picture. A family picture. The only one not in it was my father, who I has scribbled out with a purple pen. I stood in the middle, my mother to my right, my little sister to my left, and my little brother in front of me. I look a lot different now than I did in that photo.

'That's me and my family." I said softly, looking at up them. They had a sympathetic smile on their face.

"And your mother, is she that one there?" They pointed to the tallest female. I nodded. Then, I pointed to Elizabeth.

"That is Elizabeth." Then I pointed to my younger brother. "And that's Even,(Not confirmed), my younger brother."

"Is Elizabeth your sister?" I nodded. "I see." They turned the wallet to face them so they could look at it all. "And this one here, with the purple pen scribbled all over it?"

"My father," I said reluctantly, almost choking on my words.

"Hmm.." They hummed. "Your mother is very pretty. Im sorry for your loss."

"They're all dead," I said. They flinched hard, almost dropping the wallet. "Sorry-"

"I didn't know that." THeir tone rushed. "Oh- Mikey, I'm so sorry."

"Well...I don't know if my father is dead. I presume he is." I shrugged. "But I doubt that the longer I live on." They set the wallet down on the end table, then joined me once more on the loveseat. "My brother was killed in 1983. I..." I hesitated. "It was unfortunate...My sister, she was killed back in...god what was it...1980-something." I squinted my eyes, leaning back on the arm of the sofa.

"Im sorry, Mike." Their voice cracked.

"Ah." I shrugged. "This was a very long time ago."

"Do you know how your mother died?"

I physically stiffened from this. I didn't like this question, and it made that ball in my throat grow tight.

"oh- I'm sorry, I didn't-"

"It's okay." My voice cracked.

"Mikey..."

I hummed in repose, jolting as their hands fell into mine once more.

"It's okay to fall apart sometimes."

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