Awkward | BTS ✓

7

After we're seated in a booth at a local restaurant and our orders are taken, I glare at Namjoon.

"Holy shit. What did I do this time?" He huffs out, hitting his hands on the table, nearly spilling his water in the process.

"You still owe me a new couch and coffee table," I remind him as I fold my arms across my chest. "You can online shop from your phone, you know."

Namjoon rolls his eyes before pulling his phone out. "Fine. But I'm not buying anything fancy."

"That'd be a waste of money because I can guarantee that they'll get broken in a month. Do you know how many times I've had to replace my furniture already?" I say, shrugging.

After Namjoon orders simple and cheap furniture to replace what he caught on fire, I lean back in my booth and smirk at him.

"What's that look for? I told you, I'm not paying for your new window," he says, pointing at me.

"I'm getting it replaced later today and don't worry, I'm paying for it. I told my landlord to expect someone to come so he can let them in," I say, stretching my arms high above my head with a yawn. "What about your toilet?"

"It's being fixed some time today. My landlord called me and let me know to steer clear of my place until everything gets... cleaned up," he says, shuddering in disgust.

I nod wordlessly and a moment later, our food arrives and drool slides down my chin since I'm a nasty bitch.

Namjoon eyes me with disgust as I shamelessly wipe the drool on the sleeve of my shirt.

"Don't judge me, dimples," I say, sighing happily as I take a massive bite of my cheeseburger.

Now grease is dripping down my chin instead of slobber and I couldn't be happier in this moment.

That is until my over excited body decides to swallow the food in my mouth before it's ready to go down and I choke.

I cough loudly and violently as the food shoots out very powerfully straight into Namjoon's face.

Namjoon lets out a questionably female squeal as he freezes in place, my chewed up food sticking like glue on his dimpled face.

Oops.

"My bad," I say, still letting out small coughs as I lean forward and wipe the food from his face with my napkin. "I choked."

"You are vile and vulgar and I think I hate you," he says in a high-pitched voice that makes me snort in laughter.

"So do you have a superpower that turns you into a girl when you're angry?" I ask teasingly as I take a much smaller bite of my burger.

He purses his lips and completely ignores me as he turns his full attention on his food and begins to eat it.

"Oh come on. It was an accident," I try to reason with him but he continues to ignore me.

I sigh, frustrated. "I'm sorry, damn."

He looks up at me with a mouthful of french fries.

And then he smiles.

And a second too late, I realize what's going through this little fucker's mind.

Suddenly, the mouthful of french fries has been splattered on my face.

And then I lose it.

"Come here, you little shit!" I scream, enraged as I wipe off the chewed up food and reach across the table.

He laughs but abruptly changes his tone to a terrified scream when I take his straw and shove it up his nose.

"THIS FEELS WEIRD!" He screams as he pulls it out and then he makes a terrifyingly familiar face.

The look of someone about to sneeze.

"He's gonna blow!" I screech as I save myself by diving under the table, knocking my head on the edge of the table in the process but I don't register the pain as I hear the loud "ACHOO!"

And then I hear a quiet "uh oh" come from Namjoon as the entire restaurant starts screaming.

That doesn't sound good.

I crawl out from underneath the table and I see why everyone is freaking out.

Namjoon, for some reason, decided to turn his head as he sneezed, causing him to sneeze on the curtains next to our booth.

Very quickly, the flames are spreading across, hopping from curtain to curtain along the wall and everyone is running around to get out the doors.

"Why did you sneeze on the curtains?!" I exclaim as I look around for a fire extinguisher because everyone else is in panic mode and their only goal is to get away from the fire.

"I might not have completely thought that decision through, to be honest," he says, wiping his nose and sniffling.

I roll my eyes as I run around and continue to look for a fire extinguisher.

Ah, bingo!

I find it and thankfully, I put the blaze out in time before too much damage is done.

"We should get out of here," Namjoon says nervously as I put the empty fire extinguisher on the floor.

"What? You set this place on fire, dude. You're gonna have to pay for the damages to these curtains."

"Um... I'll leave a really good tip," he says, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Boy," I say in a warning tone.

"I can't tell the truth or they'll find out that I'm a superhero!" He whines. "I'll get turned in to Area 51 and they'll stick a bunch of stuff up my nose to make me sneeze and probably cut my left arm off so I can be completely invisible and then they'll use me to be a spy for them and then-"

I groan loudly. "Let's go, dumbo."

"Wait! Let me leave a note for them so they know I'll pay them back."

"They probably have insurance that'll cover the damages," I say, trying to reassure him when I realize how bad he feels. "I doubt anyone saw what really happened anyway."

"I want to at least apologize," he says, staring down at his hands.

"Oh my god, fine. But hurry," I say, rushing over and grabbing a napkin and a pen.

After furiously scribbling on the napkin, Namjoon shows me what he wrote and I roll my eyes so hard that they nearly fall out of my head.

"Dear restaurant,

That was totally my bad. She stuck a straw up my nose and that tickled my nose hairs and then I sneezed.

Again, totally my bad.

Great food by the way. 10/10 would recommend.

Maybe get less flammable curtains though.

Love,
Anonymous"