westside

♯ 𝘂𝗻.

𝙲𝙷𝙰𝙿𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝙾𝙽𝙴.

Sometimes you wonder if Kenma was okay.

Sometimes you found yourself staring at the ceiling of your apartment wondering if what you did was the right choice.

Sometimes your finger hovered above his number on your phone- aching to hear his voice and tell him about your day.

Was breaking up with Kenma the smartest thing you did? No. After all, he did nothing wrong, you were just immature, young, and foolish for thinking that he'd be better off when really you hoped he never moved on from you.

You knew he wasn't okay, he was probably hurting.

You shared a dorm with Kuroo and you were there all the times Kenma called him. Sometimes he was crying, sometimes he was playing a game..but the majority of the time the calls were about you.

Even though you hurt him, and left him wondering what went wrong- left him grasping at pieces, trying to put his heart back together.

He still cared.

He never spoke to you, fuck, he didn't even know you were there those times he called his best friend wondering if you were adjusting to the college life well, or if you ate, small stuff like that, stuff he did when you were together.

Kuroo wasn't a bad roommate- unless you count in the times where he'd purposely put the phone on speaker so you could hear Kenma, or when he'd put the camera on you when you weren't paying attention so Kenma could see you. Other than that, he was pretty okay.

You still found yourself drifting back to those memories you shared with the boy back in Japan. You couldn't move on, even though it's been months, almost a year. Nobody was him.

Nobody was Kenma, nobody could hug you the way he did, they could never comfort you the way he did, they'll never know you the way he did.

You learned that the hard way, another boy's broken heart to add to the list.

Sometimes you wonder if he'll forgive you for leaving, Kuroo said he would- but would he?

You don't want him to because he deserves better, but at the same time you don't want him with anyone else, there shouldn't be anyone warming your side on his bed unless it's him when he rolls over.

And with all honesty, he felt the same way as you. He didn't want anyone else with you, doing things he used to do and seeing things he used to see.

The thought alone made a pit form in his stomach and his jaw clench.

He wasn't possessive over you or anything, he just didn't like the idea of you with someone else and them doing what he used to.

He was still in love with you after all.

It was like the breakup never happened, his clothes are still at your old house. Your clothes are still at his apartment, exactly where you placed them when you both decided to leave clothes at the other person's house. You never thought about getting back your belongings or giving him his.

The only thing that changed was communication.

You stopped talking.

Just the occasional waves when you accidentally put yourself in the frame of Kuroo's facetime call. You didn't block each other, everything remained as it was. The contact names, and the call logs weren't deleted- neither were the conversations.

It was like what Kuroo would say when he talked about his relationship, it's a break.