suicidal .//. S.M.

chapter 2

Ashley********

That nice comment was the only thing that kept me going. I posted another cover and the same person posted another nice comment. I felt bad because he or she kept getting hate. The person who has been putting nice comments on my videos has found my twitter and has dm'ed me. I have been talking to them.

I learned that his name is Shawn. I think that is literally one of the cutest names you could think of. Most of the people who hate on me go to school with me so of course I had to be around more hate. It tares me apart to know people don't like me. I have to be there don't make it any worse for me.

I walk into my first period class with Kimberly and she immediatly comes up to me. She has the most excited face on. "Yes kimmie?" I ask. "I got us both tickets to see our future husbands!" She shrieks. I do a little shriek and a happy dance with her because I know that is what she wanted.

I know what you are probably thinking. Who is your future husband? Well Kimberly's is Nash, mine is Shawn Mendes. He is the most amazing singer and has inspired me so much. I would die if he ever noticed me, but that is a one in a million chance.

We get through the day with the minimal shoves into the lockers. I can't believe Kimberly is going through this with me. She could have cut the cord from being friends but I don't thinks she could ever. I was considered the singing freak and she was the fangirling sidekick. I feel bad. Like maybe if we weren't friends she would be the one on top.

I get home after the day and tell my mom. She said she already knew. I nodded and went upstairs. I got into my room and pulled out my guitar. I opened up my camera. I sat on my bed and did a little intro. I am not sure if more people like my videos or not. I hope they do, but either way I still do an intro. I had decided to make the announcement that I will be attending MagCon with my bestfriend. I then tune my guitar and start playing. I let my fingers figure out what song they want to play and I sing it.

After I sing I put it on youtube. Hate comes my way and I look at it. I can't help but cry. I do this everytime Kimberl isn't with me. I feel so weak and I can't help myself. I sit there and sob. Why would someon go out of their way to make me feel bad? I sit on my bed and cuddle my blankets. I have no intention to go on twitter to see what people are saying but I always let my curriosity get the best of me.

Before I knew it I was on twitter breaking a bit more as I see comments like, 'I hope your bestfriend is more pathetic than you' or 'you have a friend let alone a best friend.' They were all mean and hurtful. I closed out of the app only to be notified about a dm. I look at it and it was Shawn. He said, "No way, that is so awesome you are going to MagCon. Maybe we will see eachother." I laughed. Shawn probably lived no where near me. For all i know Shawn could be a rapist.
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I just want to make this clear, I have no idea how long in between chapters are going to be. like I will update when I can. this story is not prewritten like my other stories so I don't have update days. thank you for understanding and enjoy the chapter.

Muffins ❤️
-Kimberly