suicidal .//. S.M.

chapter 19

Ashley*********

I have been told that I need to stay in the hospital for a while because of the cuts. I was told that they were supper deep. I didn't care. They also told me that it looked infected. I looked at the cuts and saw only my pain from the past.

Everyday for the past month has I have only been able to eat crappy hospital food. I have been dying for a taco and a slushie from taco bell. My mom visits me along with my dad. Shawn had secretly came a couple times, but my parents still believe he is the reason behind the cuts. My mom brings kimberly sometimes which upsets me. I know she feels bad I can see it in her eyes but I don't think anyone has ever caused me so much pain like she did.

Shawn had to go back to Canada, while I am here. I wish he would have waited for me to get out of the hospital. Once I get out of this place I go to a special hospital for 'mentally unstable' people as I like to call it. My mom calls it a Rehabilitation center. She is sending me there so she doesn't have to deal with me going through this "phase" as she likes to call it.

I have been diagnosed with depression from these events that had happened. I wouldn't go as far as to say that, but I guess thats what I get for being overly upset about my best frie- no my ex best friend.

My mom dropped me off at the rehabilitation center with a box of clothing and some items I needed. My parents had set me up for online schooling. Maybe this could be good. I wouldn't have to see Kimberly, or any of the popular kids from the hell hole. Kimberly can be popular all she wants.

Kimberly************

School has been hella boring with out Ashley. All the girls in the class had came up with a roomer saying that Ashley, is probably sobbing her eyes out because Shawn probably broke up with her because of distance. I know it isn't true but I went along with it. I am not allowed to visit Ashley since she is after all in rehab and won't be allowed visitors until she is well enough. I just wish there was something I could have done for her.

"So how is Nash?" one of the cheerleaders asks me. I smile and say, "He is moving out to LA with cameron next week so we are going to be together for the weekend." They nod and ask, "Can we finally meet him?" I shrug and say, "I will talk to him about it. I know they are using me to get to Nash but they are just social climbers, he knows I am not fake.

Being popular is hard work. You gotta be an example, a teacher's pet. You gotta have style, I guess my rippen jeans and my flannes aren't going to count as style. I got the style from Ashley. She always wore some form of jeans and a flannel. She got it from Shawn. She would do anything to meet shawn, she finally did and now is dating him. I was happy and so was she, but I guess not that happy because she cut. I still don't know why.

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"She was sleeping next door with the kid I grew up with" ~Shawn Mendes

The last song was IMAGINATION! @weheartfanfic got it correct. Guess this song.

Hey guys! I have been feeling sick lately, but that doesn't mean I am not going to update. One Sunday I am going to be at disneyland so I don't know if I will be able to update then but if I don't end up going just know that there will be an update.

Much Love and Muffins!

~Kimberly