𝐌𝐘 𝐈𝐍-𝐆𝐀𝐌𝐄 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 [Kozume Kenma]

35. KEEPING DISTANCE

~ KENMA ~

"Kenma!" I heard Kuroo yell as I fumbled another receive. "What are you doing my guy?"

I sighed and trudged over to retrieve the ball I had shanked. This was humiliating, especially when even Lev was beginning to make consistent passes. I tossed the ball back to Kuroo and assumed receiving position again. He immediately spiked at me and I managed a shaky receive. But instead of proceeding to set it, Kuroo caught the ball. "What was that?"

"A receive." I answered bluntly, slightly pissed that he didn't continue the peppering. "What else could it be?"

"It was a pretty shit one. You can do better."

"Why do I even need to receive?" I complained with a sigh and sat down on the ground, giving in to exhaustion. "I'm a setter, I'm always second touch." When I first joined the volleyball team, someone told me setters didn't have to move. That someone was full of cap.

"Not always," Kuroo countered. "What happens when you're being targeted by the server? Or when it's a short serve and you're the only one there?"

"Yeah, yeah, big deal." I waved him off.

"Kenma, stand up."

Did he really have to choose now to be annoying? I was both mentally and physically drained, I didn't have the energy to spare for this. So naturally, I ignored him.

"I said get the fuck up." Kuroo repeated, this time more forcefully. He sounded serious. I looked up and realised he was serious. Dead serious.

I quickly scrambled to my feet, not wanting to give him more reason to be upset with me. Taking a deep breath, I mentally prepared myself for the verbal thrashing. We all have bad days. Today was probably Kuroo's.

But what he said next was something I never expected. "Kenma, why are you even playing volleyball?"

The question caught me off guard. Why was he asking this all of a sudden? What did he want to hear? I didn't know whether he expected me to give some sort of sappy response about my love for the sport or something else along the lines of friendship and comradery. Either way, I wouldn't be able to respond. Although I didn't hate volleyball, I didn't exactly love it. Sure, I loved the satisfaction of winning but that didn't seem to happen very often anymore. And each defeat reminded me of just how much I hated losing.

"Because I don't want to lose." I said to Kuroo. Yes, I was a sore loser, a hateful creature kept alive by pure spite and willpower. And I would proudly admit it.

However, that wasn't enough, apparently, and the problematic rooster needed more. "But why volleyball? You can win at everything else."

What was his deal? Did it matter why I was playing? Regardless of whether I had a good reason or not, he would've still found a way to get me involved. There was never anything special about volleyball itself. It just happened to be the sport that Kuroo chose. Had it been basketball, I'd probably be a benchwarmer watching him play right now. And this was the first time that I realised, anywhere Kuroo went, I would've followed blindly.