The Art of Dying - R. Black

forty seven

Song for this chapter: Slipping Through My Fingers - Abba

- - - - -

June 8th, 1979

It's melancholic knowing that this is my last night at Hogwarts. On one hand, I've been here for seven years and it's home to me. On the other hand, there's so much more to do in a lifetime than go to school.

Regulus had talked Pandora and Davey into switching patrols so that we got to patrol together one last time.

I'm angry with myself for wasting so much time with him.

I know that I'll still see him, but I won't get to see him everyday. At least I know I'll be with Regulus for his birthday, then for Pandora's wedding later that week.

All of my feelings are hard to decipher recently, and every time I try to sort them out I just get even more confused and irritated with the fact that I can't understand my own emotions. While everything is confusing, I just know that I want to be with Regulus. I want some sort of future with him. Unfortunately, all of the political and logistical things come into play and make me angry that we're on opposite sides of the war-, that there's a war in general.

I met Regulus outside of the Great Hall.

He was leaning against the wall, staring at all of the portraits. Since the weather was getting warmer, Regulus was wearing a short-sleeve David Bowie t-shirt. He must have cast some type of spell or charm because his Dark Mark was invisible.

"I like your shirt," I said, walking up to him.

Regulus looked down at his shirt then back up at me. "Thanks, I took it from Sirius's room."

Muggle music has always been Sirius's thing. David Bowie, Led Zeppelin, Queen, KISS. He's also a huge Abba fan but will deny it every single time.

"Have you talked to him recently?" I asked.

Regulus started following me down the empty corridor.

"No," He answered. "Have you?"

I shook my head. "Not since Easter. Although he was in the background of that Howler Marlene sent."

Regulus smirked, "Oh, I heard."

"You should talk to him," I suggested. "I think that he'd like that."

Regulus shrugged, "Maybe."

I dropped the topic, and the two of us fell into a comfortable silence. Our shoes echoed against the stone floor of the empty corridor. As we walked, the portraits were either unbothered and 'sleeping', or were peering down at the both of us.

"You know, I won't miss these portraits. I hate constantly being watched," I said, glancing over at Regulus.

"My mother has a few in the house," Regulus replied, glaring up at one of the portraits that was staring intensely. "They all watch and report back to her."

I reached for his hand, lacing my fingers through his. "Reg-"

"It's okay, love," Regulus interrupted. "I'll be out of there soon enough."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "Why? Are you moving out of something?" I asked.

Regulus kissed the side of my head. "Yeah, something like that," He said.

I thought about getting a flat in London or Diagon Alley, but the idea of living alone makes me anxious. Marlene moved out, but she had Dorcas. Even if Regulus wanted to live together, we can't because of the whole "opposite sides" thing.

I still haven't told Marlene that we're back together. Although I don't exactly know what "together" is. He never asked me to be girlfriend, we don't go out on dates. But then we act like a couple and he loves me, and I love him. I also haven't told Regulus that I'm now a part of the Order. Jack said that the whole thing is a conflict of interest. I want to tell him because I trust him. But if someone else manages to find out then my whole family will have a target on their backs.

"Wait-, I think I hear something," Regulus whispered, his steps halting. "There's people in the broom closet."

I stepped in front of him and reached for the door knob. Regulus gave me a 'go on' look, and I turned the knob, opening the door to the broom closet.

Regulus's eyes widened. "Holy shit-"

Evan was pushed back, hitting his head on a shelf in the broom closet. Then I saw Emmeline. She had just pushed Evan off of her and was straightening out her shirt. She quickly looked away from me and down at the floor, a guilty look on her face.

"No fucking way," I muttered, gapping at the pair.

Evan rubbed his head, his cheeks still flushed. "Uh-, this broom closet is taken, so I would appreciate it if you found a different one," Evan said, not a drop of shame in his voice.

Emmeline hit him on the arm, telling him to shut up.

"First off, I thought you guys were just friends," Regulus said, looking back and forth between the pair."

I interjected, "Yeah, me too."

"Second off," Regulus continued, "We have class. We don't hook up in broom closets, we hook up in the Astronomy-"

I clamped my hand over his mouth. "So, what happened to being friends?"

Emmeline spoke up, "We are friends-, we were just saying goodbye."

I raised my eyebrow at her. I flicked my gaze over to Evan, who was leaning against the doorframe with a smug look on his face.

"Yeah, we're really good friends," Evan suggested. "So if you two lovebirds could leave, that would be great."

Regulus looked at the both of them, then shrugged. "Okay," He said, "See you later."

Before I could say anything, Regulus intertwined his fingers through mine and started walking off down the corridor. I glanced behind me to see Emmeline standing there, her jaw dropped. I winked at her and let Regulus drag me down the hall.

- - - - -

June 9th, 1979

It was very fitting that we left Hogwarts the same way that we got there. We took the boats to the platform at Hogsmeade, and we were all scared of the unknown just like we were seven years ago.

Regulus and I had said our goodbyes after breakfast. He made me promise to write to him, and I made him promise to come visit. Then he kissed me in a way that made me lightheaded because of how much I adore him.

So by the time that the train came to a stop at Kings Cross, the only goodbyes I had left to say were to my friends. I knew that I would still see Jack and Emmeline since the three of us are now the newest members of the Order. But Maggie was moving to Ireland with Rory and was probably getting engaged soon, Thomas sucks at writing back, and Sam had already started to drift away throughout the school year. It was only a matter of time before our little group split up.

I hugged all five of them tightly as we stood on the platform, preparing to go our separate ways.

I would see Jack in a few days, so I don't know why I felt sad when he apparated off of the platform. Emmeline would be at our first Order meeting next week, but I still missed her when she left.

It was the end of an era.

I'm happy, all of us are happy and off to do great things. So why am I so sad that this chapter of my life is coming to an end?