The Art of Dying - R. Black

fifty

He feels the first breath of cold air in the winter.

He feels like handwritten letters with perfect penmanship.

He feels like classical music on a Tuesday morning.

He feels like silver rings and cold hands.

He feels like stolen glances and hidden smiles.

He feels like your heart pounding in your chest.

He feels like unconditional love.

I run my fingers across the dips and curves of his torso, and across the scar on his shoulder. I kiss the small scar above his eyebrow, and the corner of his mouth.

We've both been up for a while. We started to get ready but ended up back in bed with the curtain and double doors open.

Regulus has his arms wrapped around my stomach, his head resting on my chest as I memorize everything about him.

"I wish we could stay here forever," I whispered, looking at the potted flowers on the balcony.

Regulus hummed contentedly. "We could," He suggested. "We could just pack our bags and never go home. We could travel."

"That sounds nice," I said, resting my hand in his hair.

"I'm being serious, Meredith. Where would you like to go?"

I thought for a second. "I want to go to Greece," I answered.

"Then let's go to Greece," Regulus said, a hint of desperation in his voice.

"Reg, you know we can't do that," I muttered.

Regulus sighed, "Maybe not now, but one day."

"Is that a promise?"

"Meredith, I promise that I will take you wherever you want one day," Regulus said, leaning up to kiss me on the cheek.

We both fell silent, bodies intertwined underneath the thick duvet.

"I never asked, where'd you get this scar?" Regulus asked, tracing patterns against the round scar on my right hip.

I laughed quietly.

"What?"

"You're going to make fun of me," I said.

Regulus looked up at me, an innocent look on his face. "I would never!" He said sarcastically, though the both of us knew that he would never make fun of something if it really irritated me.

"When I was six, Marlene and I were racing on our bikes in the neighborhood, and I beat her. So she pushed me off of my bike, and I scraped my hip on the pavement pretty badly," I explained. "She felt really bad and cried, but my mum fixed it up fine. I still have a scar from it."

Regulus stifled a laugh. "Merlin," He muttered, "Did you at least get revenge on her?"

"Love, I was only six years old."

"Is that a yes or a no?"

I sighed, "Yes. I pushed her down the stairs-"

Regulus burst out laughing, burying his head in my chest.

"-Not that many stairs!" I added. "Oh come on, didn't you and Sirius ever do shit like that?"

Regulus got his laughter under control and grinned at me. "Yes, all the time," He answered.

"Exactly," I said.

Regulus shook his head, laying on his side with his head beside mine. I turned on my side, our noses almost touching.

The morning sun is shining into the hotel room, illuminating Regulus's face. I hadn't noticed it before, but there was a lot of gray in his eyes. I always thought that they were more blue, but now that I was seeing them clearly, there were specks of silver scattered throughout his irises. I also noticed that he has freckles on his nose. They were more prominent now that he was in the sun more often.

"I think that you're a beautiful person," I whispered. "And I'm not just talking about looks-, which you obviously have, but I just think that you're a beautiful person."

Regulus smiled softly at me. "I don't think that I'm a good person, Meredith," He said.

"Well, I do," I said. "I believe that you're a good person."

"You're an angel compared to me, a fucking saint," Regulus admitted.

I shook my head, staring into his eyes.

"I don't believe in God, but if I did I would think that you're a godsend. You're my angel."

I held the side of his face as I brought my lips to his, kissing him with every ounce of emotion that I had. I don't think he'll ever know how much his words mean to me, how much he means to me. I don't think I'll ever be able to express it in words, so I just hope that I'm able to show him.

When we broke apart, Regulus rested his forehead against mine.

"I love you," I whispered, afraid that if I spoke too loudly the bubble surrounding us would pop and the world would cave in around us.

Regulus smiled at me, but there was something different-, he looked almost sad.

"I love you, Meredith."

- - - - -

We had managed to drag ourselves out of bed and get ready to go back to England around eleven in the morning.

Regulus complained when I got out of bed and took a shower without him before getting dressed in actual clothes. He left the door open while he showered as a poor attempt to lure me in. I threw my things back into my overnight bag, including my ripped underwear and Regulus's t-shirt. Regulus packed his bag and handed me my wand off of the nightstand.

He checked us out of the hotel and took me to a nearby cafe to get something to eat before we went home. I was starting to get sad that I had to go home. I could get used to this with him.

We were just leaving the cafe when he asked me if I was going to Pandora's wedding on Saturday. I told him that I would be there. A lot of people from our year would be there. Mostly my friends or former Ravenclaws, Evan was invited. Regulus rolled his eyes when I told him that Jack was going to be there.

The two of us found an alleyway, out of sight from prying eyes. Regulus took out his wand and apparated us back to my house.

As soon as we landed just outside the wards surrounding my house, I noticed the drastic scenic change. The sky was dark and cloudy, looking like it was about to start downpouring any second.

"Well, that's depressing," Regulus muttered.

I took my bag off of his shoulder and smiled at him.

"Thank you for everything," I said. "I hope that you had a nice birthday."

Regulus smiled, "No, thank you. That was the best birthday I've had in a long time."

"I'm glad."

Regulus wrapped his arms around my waist and hugged me tightly. Our bags were sort of in the way, but it didn't matter. I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him back.

He was hugging me tighter than usual.

"I'll see you on Saturday, okay?" I said, trying to reassure him.

Regulus nodded into my shoulder and pulled away from the hug. "Yeah, I'll see you Saturday."

I stood on my tiptoes and gave him a chaste kiss on the lips.

"Goodbye, Regulus," I said, smiling at him.

Regulus smiled back. "Goodbye, Meredith."

I turned on my heel and started walking up to the porch. It wasn't until I was in the doorway that I turned around and looked at him. Regulus was standing in the yard watching me, and he gave me a small wave. I waved back before stepping into the house and closing the door behind him.

I'll see him on Saturday.