One Of Us

I Discover My Hidden Talent For Detective Work

Sayuri Rei

Damn you and your silky-looking, shaggy brown hair that falls so perfectly over your eyes.

Damn you and your big, brown puppy-dog eyes that sparkle when you look at me.

Damn you and your handsome, slim build.

Damn you, Dazai. Damn you.

He's sitting at the edge of my hospital bed, his trench coat draped over the visitor's chair. He could be sitting on the chair too, but instead, this odd man seems to feel the need to sit on my bed.

Well not my bed, but the bed I'm in right now.

Ugh. You get the point.

And it's taking all of my willpower not to kick him in the face and send him flying across the room because just his presence is so annoying.

He starts by taking in a breath, "Hypothetically, what would you do if we were caught in a zombie apocalypse?" Dazai asks.

This is a rather random question, but I decide to play along. "Well, I'd run, because zombies eat brains. You should be fine."

Doctor Yosano lets out a snort from where she stands at the door and she gives me a wink, "Good one."

I ignore her, "Why are you really here, Dazai?"

"Well that bomber back there? Wasn't actually a bomber. That was Junichiro Tanizaki and he's part of the Armed Detective Agency – That was your entrance exam, Sayuri Rei. And you've passed. Welcome to the Agency."

That gives me pause. I'm an assassin. Part of a freaking Mafia, and the good guys want me on their side? Seriously?

So either this is a trick, or Dazai and his boss are crazy. And because Dazai's crazy, I'm assuming his boss is too.

"And what if I said I don't want to be part of your agency?" I ask, raising a strawberry brow.

Dazai pauses, and I can practically see the gears turning for a second. "Well, if you refuse then we have no choice other than to hand you back over to the Mafia. And you are probably well aware of what they do to traitors."

I am well aware, because I am the punishment.

Hold up – Don't take that the wrong way. I mean I torture the traitors.

That didn't sound any better.

Whatever.

I give a sigh, "Fine, then I accept."

"Great!" Dazai perks up, "Your first mission will be explained in a day or two, once Doctor Yosino decides you are ready for combat again. And your partner will be the one and only Ranpo Edogawa."

"Oh joy," I murmur, "A twenty-six-year-old man-child."

"He's great once you get to know him, I promise," he winks at me.

Two Days Later...

Hello everyone, and welcome to my new game show. I call it, "How Many Times Will I Have To Explain To Dazai That I Will Not Commit Double Suicide With Him!?"