One Of Us

The Girl Who Almost Saved My Life

Osamu Dazai

The Port Mafia used to make us go to school on the off days of our training. I don't remember much, because I didn't have many friends, and it wasn't like I particularly enjoyed any of my classes (of course, I was good at all of them). But I do recall a few memories, as well as Chuuya Nakahara.

I'm sure many of you know of history's biggest jerkwad already.

I also have this super vivid memory of Sayuri – though... she normally avoided me. I have no idea why, because I'm literally so cool.

Anyway, I used to get bullied because I was always that tall, overemotional, scrawny kid with no social skills whatsoever, but I was really good at basketball and volleyball when we would play in Phys-Ed. One day, my bullies were particularly bad... and I remember Chuuya and Rei stood up for me, and once they'd left me alone, my... friends... had left too. I don't remember what they said to me, but I remember crying. I was tugging at my hair and sobbing into my hands – we were in tenth or eleventh grade, so go figure – and I just...

I feel a warm, slender fingers wrap around my wrists and pull my hands from my hair. I'm curled up in the corner of the back of the library. A girl with sunset red hair and sea green eyes stares down at me. Her touch is warm, but her stare... it's concerned, but not warm or friendly, as usual for Sayuri Rei, the boss's daughter.

She's adopted, but still seems to share Mori's signature stare.

She kneels down infront of me, looking at my tears as if she's never seen anyone cry before. "This is the exact reaction they want from you," she says quietly, forcing me to meet her eyes. "Mori taught me to always wear a mask of an expression. Sometimes a physical mask helps too..." she smiled ever so slightly, but it faded quickly.

I know what she would've added.

Masks hide scars.

"Now... Dazai, right? Take a deep breath and... get your act together. Don't let them see you down like this. Stay strong, okay?" She lets go of my wrists.

I sniffle, nodding just a bit, wiping my face.

"And hey... once you get some confidence, maybe you'll be able to stab back at them. They're morons and jerks." She stands up, "you're smart... I'm sure you'll figure out some way to get back at them."

Rei was right. A couple days later, I stood up to them. I squared my shoulders, stared them straight in the eye, and stabbed back at them.

And Rei was watching from across the room, perched on the edge of a desk in the classroom, a small, proud smile on her face.

I climb into bed – wearing an oversized silk button down PJ shirt that Chuuya got me years ago and flannel sweatpants – and when I look out the large window that spears across the wall of my bedroom, I can see it thundering and pouring rain outside.

Some voice in the back of my head is telling me I should wait to fall asleep until I know Rei is comfortable...

                         Why?

                                                       Is she... afraid of thunder or lightning?

I remember hearing that somewhere... who told me that? My mind is foggy, but I think I remember my old friend Yuma saying something about that.

A few minutes later, when I'm finally starting to fall asleep, I hear a hesitant knock on my door. I roll over to face the door, a few brown curls falling into my eyes. "Come in."

I sit up as Rei appears in the door. She's braided her hair and wears an oversized T-shirt (I can't see the color in the dark) and silk shorts.

I smirk a little, "What is it?"

Lightning crackles outside and she flinches, and I stand up, gently leading her back into her room. I can tell she's exhausted... and she walks with a slight limp – now that she's wearing shorts and short sleeves, I can see the bruises and fresh cuts and scars that haunt her arms and legs.

She climbs back into her own bed and I sit on the edge of the mattress after pulling the covers over her shoulders.

She's so vulnerable right now... and it breaks my heart. I wish I could do more to help her, but I don't think she'd accept my comfort with open arms. She's just not that kind of person, and if she did... I'd be really worried about her.

Well... I'd definitely be surprised. 

After a couple minutes, when I think she's finally fallen asleep, I lean forward to stand, when she speaks.

"Don't-!... I... I mean," her voice is a whisper now, "don't leave... please?"

Swallowing, I lay back across the bed so I'm perpendicular to Rei. "Alright..."

"...You don't look very comfortable."

"I'm not."

"So then... you can go-"

"No, I'm not leaving. You're going to have to drag me out to make me do that. Stop trying to push me away, Rei. I'm here for you. I'm your friend," unless you want me to be more than that, I think, but quickly push away that thought.

She turns her head so I can see her face now, snuggled up against her pillow, her shoulders bundled up in her blankets. She looks freezing... but comfortable at the same time.

Rei smiles a little, "good to know..."

I turn my head to look at her, the distance between us seeming just a little less spacious. I give her a smile of my own, "get some rest, alright?"

I flinch myself as a series of thundering and lightning takes place outside. Rei makes a strangled noise and I shift a little closer, sitting up and draw her close into my arms, trying to ignore the way she seems to just... fit so perfectly.

"Hear my heartbeat?" I whisper.

She nods, sinking into my arms.

"Just... take deep breaths. Focus on my heartbeat."

"It's beating really fast."

"Hm?"

"Nothing..."