Chapter 25

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Pause

I keep on falling in and out

A day went by, and Jude didn't say a word to Sirius

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A day went by, and Jude didn't say a word to Sirius. There wasn't anything to say that wasn't out of anger. The person Sirius had become was once again a stranger to her.

She had stuffed herself in the corner of the greenhouse with a book in hand, a blanket, one of Remus' jumpers, some strawberries, and a bag of her's and Eddie's homework. A small breeze came in through the cracked hole in the glass window, leaving a breath of fresh air. It was perfect quiet with only the sound of the enchanted watering cans pouring gently into the plants. Jude curled over her book. She was reading the Secret Garden again. It was the same book she was reading in the beginning of the school year. As she turned the page, she saw an annotation, but it wasn't in her hand writing...or English. Tu as de la chance je t'aime. Je ne lirais pas ceci si je ne le faisais pas. She studied the words and handwriting for a moment. French. Sirius' writing. Translation: You're lucky I love you. I wouldn't be reading this if I didn't. Jude always loved when he spoke French to her. He was perfectly fluent in the language. Every once and a while, he would unknowingly slip a few French words into his English sentences. She would grin and wait for him to notice. 

She could feel a smile try to grow and shook it away. It made her angry that he could still make her smile. She hated the fact that she still loved him after the months of nothing but fighting and emotionless sex. She missed the spontaneous runs to the astronomy tower and sneaking out to Hogsmede. The memories of the walks by the Black Lake and cold nights in the Shrieking Shack, clutching each other tight, lingered like a bad taste in her mouth. It was awful. Every part of herself was still truly, deeply, and madly in love with Sirius.

Slamming the book shut, she slid it across the room and moved on to the bag of homework, starting with Eddie's Charms work. Then a small noise came from behind a pot. She leaned forward, trying to get a view, when a small brown kitten peered out. Jude smiled and held out her hand. "Hi, sweetie," the cat moved closer.

The cat's eyes were locked onto something above Jude. She looked up to see a rat on the ledge of the window. It squeaked and jumped onto her shoulder, nuzzling in her hair. She giggled and picked him up. "Hey, Pete." Peter always had some trouble switching back from his animagus form, but with the flick of her wand, she changed him back.

"Thanks, Bird. I owe you one," he laughed out. Then he saw her red eyes, puffy cheeks, swollen lips, and shaking hands. "What's wrong?"

"I think we just broke up." The tears started to come back.

Peter's eyes darted around like he was trying to come up with anything to say. "You and Padfoot?" He watched her nod and choke on her breath. "I'm sorry, J." He wrapped his arms around her and curled up with her.

Jude explained everything to him- every painful detail from what happened that Halloween to the fight they had outside the infirmary. They must've sat there for a half hour just crying and talking together before the words finally came to Peter. "Maybe instead of looking at it as a break up, think of it as a pause."

"A pause?"

"Yeah," he smiled. "You said once he shaped up, to talk to you. Maybe when he does, you reassess." He plopped his head on her shoulder. "And I can tell you're still mad about him."

She scoffed. "How's that?"

"Because I saw you freak about the annotation in your book."

"Peter Pettigrew," she teasingly gasped. "Were you spying?"

"No, I was stuck as a bloody rat, trying to get you to help me!" He laughed into her jumper, scrunching his nose, completely embarrassed. 

Jude rested her head on his. "Guess I'm just the best friend ever."

"For sure. Peter and Jude, Wormtail and Bird, together forever."

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A/N: Next chapter coming very soon!

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