The way I found you

5 | Ups And Downs

"Hey…", a small cracky female voice said only loud enough for him to hear. His head turned immediately to the fragile woman laying in the white big hospital bed. Her face was swollen and full of cuts from some sort of glass, but she did manage to open her eyes slightly. 
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"Oh my God. Tanya!", Sean cried out loud and took her hand without any hesitation. "I thought I lost you. God. I was so worried.", Sean exclaimed as tears were forming in his eyes. He could see how weak his ex-wife actually was just by her way of looking at him. Despite that, she managed to give him a soft smile. 

"How bad is it?", Tanya asked and tried to move something but she wasn't sure if she even could feel her body or if it was just too heavy for her to move right now. 

"Well, you're awake and talking. I guess it's better than we thought.", Sean replied happily. "I called your parents. They should be here anytime soon", he added before a small laugh of joy escaped his mouth whilst kissing her hand. He was overwhelmed by all the intensity of his feelings and couldn't actually believe that this was happening right now. 

"I sure don't feel that good.", Tanya said, struggling to keep her eyes open. She didn't know in which condition she was in but her inner body told her that she isn't going to get alright again. She couldn't explain it, it was just the feeling of not being able to move forward, the feeling of being at the end, tired of fighting, tired to stay. Tears were forming in her eyes as she admitted to herself that she is not gonna leave that hospital again, despite what doctors are going to say. 

"Hey what's wrong, Tanya?", Sean asked as soon as he realized that her body started to shake slightly. 

"I'm not gonna make it.", was the only thing she managed to say before she needed to take another deep breath. 

"No-no-no. Don't say that! You're gonna be alright. You're gonna be just fine. It's only a matter of time.", Sean began to stutter and focused his eyes in disbelief on hers. 

"Hear me out. Please.", Tanya started, deepening the look at Sean and brightening her smile. 

"You need to promise me to take good care of everyone. Flynn, Leo, Amélie, our family. Never stop telling them about me, never stop being the great father you are and never stop loving them, no matter what.", she said with a sad smile whilst tears were running down her cheek. 

"I promise, Tanya. But you'll be there too. Everything is going to be okay.", Sean said, completely convinced. 

"No, I will not… I don't think so.", she said, shaking her head in disbelief. She knew her body too well, especially after all the training she had as a police detective and right now all she wanted to do was close her eyes and let go of all the pain she was in. "I am so glad that I met you. Even when it didn't work out in the end… you still created the most loving family with me and I am proud of how far we have come. We might not be together anymore, but I can assure you, that I never stopped loving you as a friend and father. Thank you for being there for me, even after all the fights that could have made you leave. You're a very special man and I need you to teach our children how to be exactly like you...and when I am gone… don't give up on yourself. I know it will be hard, but you can do it.", Tanya sniffed and tried to tighten her grip on his hand. 

"Please… don't give up on yourself. You're not gonna die.", Sean said with a broken voice, ready to break down in front of her. He could see how Tanya's eyes were getting heavy each second they talked, could see how her skin turned even more pale. 

"And Sean… you finally need to tell her…", she smiled slightly, whilst Sean couldn't think straight of what she was talking about.

"Tell Lana before it's too late...because I am not gonna go to heaven and watch you two dancing around each other anymore. You guys are ridiculous. Honestly. Find happiness again, Sean. You deserve it. And tell everyone that I love them. Especially the kids.", Tanya said smiling before her eyes got unbearable weighty again. Sean's whole body was going into panic mode when he let go of her hand to run outside and call a doctor. His hands were all sweaty and shaking whilst the world seemed to stop spinning. His heart rate was exploding in just a few seconds whilst his sight got blurry, making him unable to properly see. Nurses were running to him, pulling him outside of the room and trying to calm Sean down, which he eventually did. The doctors managed to stabilize Tanya but once again the hope of a full recovery was  going down every minute. The doctors told him medical stuff that he wasn't able to understand, babbling about a kind of syndrome that most likely had happened, where the patient wakes up before the body completely shuts down. Sean's head was spinning after that long conversation, couldn't even process that Tanya's parents had finally arrived. This day was just too much.