Untimely Love (Book 3)

♤Chapter 10♤

♤ARIANA♤

He left. He just left after saying that. That he loved me. Not love—loved. A part of me should be relieved it was in the past tense. It would be easier- but it would be easier if he hadn't said it at all. Love.

  My mind didn't let me dwell on that alone though. On the relationship part of things because it was obvious it was over. Especially when other things he said started to fall into place.

  Chris told me exactly what I needed to hear. Something I already knew but tried to overlook and push away because no one else would say it; I needed to stay away from his family. Get out of his house, stop invading his space and get a life of my own. I needed to stop talking to his friends, and whatever I had to offer—which was nothing—I needed to keep it away from him and everyone involved with him.

  It shouldn't have taken this long or a situation like this for me to decide. But I guess, I was holding on to things and relationships I thought I couldn't live without. And I had to stop. I had to find my own friends, my own family, my own thing, and stop being a selfish bitch, intruding on his.

  "Ariana?" Charlotte's voice was low and soft and I hated it. I hated that after everything that Chris said, she still cared about my feelings and how I was doing when he basically said he wasn't coming back home because I was always here.

  I turned to her, not feeling anything but everything at the same time. If he was angry enough to not want me anywhere...

  "He's right," I said. Not to her, not really. I needed to say it out loud, to admit it to myself.

  Charlotte didn't say anything.

  We didn't say anything to each for what felt like a very long time. I listened to the crickets in her garden and let the night breeze try to dry the tears on my face because I didn't have the strength the dry them anymore. I felt sticky and gross and just tired. Tired of everything.

  "Maybe," I started and stopped when my voice cracked and another round of tears were threatening me. "I like interior design," I started again, my voice pitching to a level that's obviously fake, "but I don't... love it. Not enough to-" I stopped again and we stared at each other. Again. In that loud silence.

  Until Charlotte nodded, even though it looked like she didn't want to. But I wouldn't let anyone talk me into keep doing this. As if I don't care and my conscience won't badger me to the edge of insanity. Chris and I wanted completely different things, but I would give him this. I didn't have a choice but to. That's how I had to see it.

  "If that's what you want," Charlotte whispered. She couldn't say otherwise.

  I nodded, swallowing hard and breathing deeply. Her voice echoed in my head.

  We stood in another round of silence. I listened to my heart pounding in my ears, under my skin, and between my eyes. I felt it everywhere. That... break. No, it was more like a tear. Like whiplash—when I'm sleeping and turn my head too fast and the muscle in my neck did that thing. Sometimes I'd hear that tear before I felt it. But now, I just felt it, somewhere else and deeper.

  "I'll take you home," Charlotte said finally.

  I think I nodded again but it felt more like a twitch in my neck that jerked my head weirdly.

  She walked away. I didn't watch her leave to get her keys—I stared at a crack in the pavement instead.

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