Untimely Love (Book 3)

♤Chapter 24♤

♤ARIANA♤

The agreement was, I saw this person once a week on Thursday afternoons. It was my second session and my hundredth time thinking about getting up and walking out of the room.

Dr. Davis was the kind of woman I would immediately idolize if I'd walked past her on the street. She wore dresses and heels in colors that made her brown skin glow, that fit her curves like a glove. She was a big woman with confidence that made me almost gawk at her the entirety of our first meeting.

This was our second meeting though, and while we were still getting to know each other, the topics she'd woven into the conversation had my teeth clenching and my stare deadpanned. Gradually, she became more irritating because of those questions, but despite me not answering them, she never lost her cool and that made her even more attractive.

She stared at me patiently until she realized I wasn't going to answer this inquiry either. The doctor smiled. "Why are you here, Ariana?"

That wasn't the initial question and it wasn't what I was expecting, but it was one I was willing to answer.

I shrugged. "I had a panic attack in front of my dad and he's convinced I'm gonna try and kill myself."

The doctor didn't even bat an eyelash, as if she heard stuff like this all the time. She probably did. The way I'd said it though was probably something she noted; too easily. At one point in my life, I couldn't even fathom saying something like that out loud, yet these days the words left me easier than a hot knife through butter.

She adjusted the skirt of her green dress over her knees and folded her hands on her lap. "What triggered your panic attack?"

My jaw clenched again. She didn't need to know that. I could tell her part of the truth, that I'd been talking to my dad; but then that would open up the question: what were we talking about? Then we'll fall all the way down a winding hole that I wasn't comfortable going down with her.

"I understand," Dr. Davis started, "that this is hard for you. Opening up to a complete stranger, but we're here to get to know each other, Ariana. I also understand that you've been through a lot." She looked at me the entire time she spoke, making me look away. "I understand from our previous conversation that you've been dealing with all of this alone and it's taking a toll on you. I'm only here to help you, and I'm afraid I can't do that if we don't get past this barrier."

I chewed on my bottom lip, scraping at my cuticles as I stared at a turquoise vase sitting on her desk behind her.

It was a comfortable room, with floor-to-ceiling windows for the left wall with blinds that were drawn but partially open. There was a large white bookcase that took up most of the wall behind her broad white desk. The sitting area was just in front of the desk, across the room from the windows; a light grey couch that I was sitting on, another shorter couch on my right, and a single chair across from me where she sat.

The best part though was the plants.

A bonsai sat in the middle of the glass table between us, trailing plants hung from their pots in the ceiling, and in each back corner of the room sat two large plants—I had no clue what they were. Succulents took up the few vacant spaces on the bookshelf, while more trailing plants hung from the top of it, framing the books so prettily that I made a note to myself to do the same thing in the future.

"You're steering this," Dr. Davis said, gathering my attention again. "What would make you most comfortable?"

I breathed deeply, stilling my hands. I told myself I'd stop picking at my nails. They weren't the most pleasant to look at these days because of it. Instead, I flattened my hands against my thighs, pressing my palms into them as I thought.