I'll love you forever (Calzona)

Chapter 30

Callies POV

It's been 2 days since Arizona died and I am not doing good

I can't fall asleep without her, I can't even go into our room, I have been staying in paisleys

The poor child doesn't even understand why her momma isn't there for bedtime, or in the morning for breakfast

She doesn't understand when we told her that her momma is in a better place, I mean she's 3, why would she

Arizona's parents haven't left, they have been staying in the guest room, and while I'm glad they are here and helping with paisley, I still don't even know what to think

All I think about all day is Arizona, and if we would have caught it earlier would she still be dead

Would we have had more time together?

Today's her funeral, thankfully we had all of this done before she died because I wouldn't have been able to do it.

"Mommy" paisley whines from her grandmothers arms and I take her into mine

She has her nini and part of me wants to do what Arizona always did, I mean we were making progress on it but, Arizona was right. She needs all the comfort she can get now

"What's wrong baby?" I ask and walk upstairs

"I want momma" she cries and I feel my eyes tear up again

"I know sweet girl, me too" I say and just let her cry against me

"Momma come home?" She ask and I feel tears on my cheeks

"No baby, momma can't come home. We're going to go say goodbye to momma and tell her we love her and that we will miss her okay?" I ask and she just cries

It must be very difficult being 3 and not understanding a word I was saying

After a little while I decided it was time to get her ready

Once she was dressed I did the same thing and she came into my room with something in her hand

"Help?" She ask and have gave me the necklace Arizona had given her

"Come here bug" I say and help her out the necklace on and we went downstairs

The ride to the funeral home was quiet, I sat in the backseat with paisley while Barbara and Daniel sat in the front

We were the first ones there but soon a lot of people arrived,

She really was loved by many

Paisley stayed in my arms the entire time with her nini in her mouth, she wouldn't even lift her head off my shoulder

People kept coming up to me and telling me how sorry they were,

After everyone left for the burial site me and paisley stayed behind

I didn't know at first if I wanted her to even be here, let alone see her dead mother

But, after thinking about it, I think she will be fine, and if not we will deal with it together

"You ready to say goodbye to momma?" I ask and she nods and I take a deep breath and walk up

"Hers sleeping?" She ask and I let out a shaky breath

"Kind of, but, momma can't wake up"  I say

"Why not? Why momma not wake up?" She ask, Barbera and I have tried explaining to paisley but, she didn't understand

"Well... momma was really sick, " I say

"Momma not sick no more?" She ask

"No baby, mommas not sick anymore" I say and she nods and takes her nini out of her mouth and holds it down and drops it into the casket