The Prince's Compass♡~Killugon/Gonkillu Fanfic~♡

-Mornings Like This-

Everything was happening so fast, I felt like my head was spinning. It was originally just between me, Gon, and my father—but now things have gotten complicated.
I could deal with my brother, but Alluka...I can't be the reason she gets hurt or worse; killed.

But-

Sweat dripped from my forehead as I sat alone in my room.

Could I ever kill Prince Gon...?

It was now the late evening and I was dismissed by the prince to go to sleep. But I couldn't. I had sat at my desk for the past hour contemplating my next step.
I had expected this to be easy. I had hoped at least. I had killed hundreds maybe even thousands, but him...things have just become so different.

Warmth. That was the only way I could begin to describe him. Being around him was like feeling the sun for the first time. Everything about him had stuck to me, stuck to my mind—I didn't think I could ever forget how he made me feel.

I switched off my desk lamp and decided to get to bed. I carefully slipped out of my clothes and into pajamas.
I allowed myself to get under the blankets and sink into the familiar mattress.

Warmth..huh...

I felt myself chuckle as tears spilled from my closed eyes.

Perhaps, I wasn't meant for the sun...

...

The next few days were challenging. I couldn't decide if I should tell the prince or if this is something I should keep to myself. He let me break down in front of him once before, but this time was different.
It's one thing to procrastinate on my fathers time, but when Alluka had been put on the line I can't mess around anymore.

"Good morning Killua!" He said from the table a few days later.
I walked across the room to meet him at our small table next to the window. Our corner of the world.

"Good morning Gon-" I stopped myself immediately. "Prince Gon."
I felt my face flush red by being so casual with him.

"Awww man! Just when I thought you were starting to drop the whole 'prince' thing!" He whined.

"You want me to call you by just your first name?" I asked, stunned.

"I sure wouldn't mind it." He pouted. "Call me whatever you'd like."

I paused before I responded.
"...Gon it is then..."
I cleared my throat and shooed away my flushed expression in hopes of continuing our conversation. We talked about books and the weather and those sorts of things. The light conversation that can only occur before the sun rises.
Even when the conversation dropped and we sat in silence, I enjoyed every second.

I couldn't put my finger on when I began to feel such joy, but it had become more and more prominent. Even with this joy in heart, reality lurked closely behind.
If he weren't so kind, if he just wasn't so warm, if he just hadn't insisted on me just using his first name— this would be so much easier.

A goodbye would have been so simple months ago.

"..The sunrise hasn't become boring to you, has it?"
He asked while cutting off my train of thought.

"If it had I probably wouldn't be sitting here waiting on it. As long as you're still finding joy in watching the sunrise, I will accompany you every morning."

He seemed to think for a long time before responding.
"Every morning..?"

"Every morning." I confirmed.

"....Killua?"
I hummed in response.
"What will our mornings together look like in the future? Will there still even be mornings like this?"

I wasn't sure what to make of his question. His intent was clear but I wasn't sure if I wanted to be the one who said it.
Alas, I took the liberty and spoke once more,
"I'm not sure if there will be mornings like this in the future...for you or for me..."

"..Have you heard anything from your father?" He asked.

I went to deny anything but I remembered our last conversation. He wants to know. He genuinely wants to listen and understand and think about what to do next.
I liked that about him, but him knowing wouldn't help the situation either.

Maybe I could just tell him a bit..?

"I've heard some things...unfortunately, my sister has gotten involved and I've been a bit on edge. Don't think I'm hiding things from you, it's just a touchy situation." I sighed. "I've been worried sick about her. My family is using her against me.."
I had already said a lot for just 'a bit' but I hoped he wouldn't use this information to manipulate the situation.

"Oh that's just awful! How could they do that to you??" He exclaimed. "This have gotten a lot more complicated over these past few months..."

I nodded my head in agreement. "That they have..I just don't know what I'm going to do..."
Silence fell over us once again as we both went deep into thought.

My sister was my everything. Alluka was the only person in this world who I had ever cared about and who had ever cared for me. I couldn't say I wasn't expecting her to get involved at some point, but it's still not time. I have at least 8 more months. Father said he understood and told me to take my time, so this must just be Illumi...

If it really is just Illumi then maybe Alluka could be safe if I tell father..but then again they don't value Alluka like I do...

Just as my head began to throb with all the thoughts and possibilities, Gon swiftly reached for my hand.
He took my hand in his after lifting the thin serrated blade that was used to cut scones, and placed the cold silver in my hand. Fear surged to my fingertips as he brought the blade in my hand up to his neck, pressing the sharp edges to his skin.

"You have to kill me."