SwaSan SS :" Blind Date - Courtesy of Match Making Family" [√]

Chapter 17: " Nine months "

Swara thought she must have misheard at first when she heard him say those four words. But she knew it was the truth when she turned around to face him. One look at his face she knew his words were real enough.

Swara had imagined hearing those words for a long time. It seemed silly at times to pine away for three little words. She used to imagine how happy she could be if only she heard him say those words.

But in reality those words didn't bring her any happiness just a whole lot of anger and pain. He abandoned her because he loved her. Swara couldn't understand it and because she couldn't understand she felt disappointed with his answer than happiness.

All those months she had imagined million reasons for his abandonment, but when faced with his answer. She was confused and hurt instead.

"You love me, so you left me?  Does that make any sense to you Sanskar?" Swara spoke up still in disbelief that she was having this conversation with him. Her sister's wedding was perhaps not the place to have an heated argument with him, but he was the fool who choose to follow her when she ran away from him.

"Do you remember that night before I left? I was so jealous that you were going to date Mark and so intent on preventing that " Sanskar spoke up and Swara wanted to laugh at him for even reminding her of that day.

She had thought nothing but about that night for so long. She could even recite what transpired each second of it. She had been so hopeful that day when Sanskar gave her the first glimpse of him wanting to date her, but when she pushed him for confirmation he bolted without answer.

Every night after that she regretted pushing him for answer, regretted every single word spoke between them because in the end it was the reason he walked away from her. But no matter how many times she recalled that night and deconstructed it. She still doesn't understand why he left her.

" The day you left me without a word. Of course I remember. But what I don't understand is why, what made you run away that fast from me ?" Swara answered back hating that she was being vulnerable towards him.

"When I walked away that night, I never thought it would take me nine months to return. But when I walked away that night all I wanted was some time to sort out my heart and then Laksh called to tell me that he wasn't leaving after all . That he was in love and was so fortunate Ragini felt the same " Sanskar spoke up and Swara waited for him to tell something that would make her understand him but so far he was repeating everything she knew already.

"Swara, Laksh and Ragini were in love together and it was not complicated at all. They confessed and were happy together and I was happy for them but when I thought about us, it wasn't as clear as them. I wasn't free to love you wholly. You deserved more than what I could have given you back then and I couldn't stay behind and see you date someone else. So I ran away.

Swara, I was complicated mess back then. I know I liked you and even was falling for you, but I wasn't ready to surrender my whole heart either. Anything less than that would be undeserving of you.

If I stayed and selfishly demanded your heart when I can't do so in turn that would have only made us falter in the end. " Sanskar spoke up and Swara understood he believed them to be reason enough, but for Swara it wasn't enough of a reason because he made the decision on his own without asking her.

"So now your heart is whole enough to give it to me?" Swara asked him because from what she heard so far it has been his reason. She got his answer when he nodded his head in affirmative.

"But you broke mine Sanskar. So in the end it never really matters because it looks like we will never be whole enough to be with each other" Swara answered back and walked away from him. She expected him to say something to change her mind but his silence remained her answer.