Never Without You │ BOTW modern AU fanfic

I Had So Many Reasons

Link and I have been sitting by the pool for five silent minutes. He left some space between us on the patio sofa. It hurts but I understand why he chose to sit further apart.

The only sound present is the unironic chirping of crickets. I should probably say something. I've come up with a million ways to start this conversation but each one dissolves halfway through the first sentence. And now that I've decided to just say anything at all to break this awful silence, words won't come out. This is going to be hard...

"Thanks for staying..." I mutter and bring my knees up to my chest.

Link just nods, his eyes held captive by the ripples in the water. He looks more than guilt-ridden. I wish I could reverse time. But what would I do differently?

"You said you remember the night at the lodge when you made me promise to tell you if you ever made me uncomfortable. Do you remember why you made me promise that?"

"Someone did things without your consent..."

I nod. "Who?"

"I don't remember... Me?"

Why is he always so quick to blame himself? "No."

"Who was it?"

I take a deep breath and answer slowly. "Karusa."

Link's head snaps in my direction and he finally looks at me with a mixture of panic and rage burning in his rigid eyes. "Ganon's friend?"

"Yes..."

No wonder Link sounds so surprised. The baseball game is one of the very few memories he has yet to recover, so all the memories about Karusa revealing the true origin of my hickey are gone. Now Link has to find out all over again. This time will be different though. I will be the one telling him.

"When?" Link wants to know but looks away. "The day we kissed for the first time?"

I shake my head, already feeling my throat tightening. "We crossed paths a second time..."

A barely audible "shit" escapes through Link's breath. My heart is aching for him but I need to tell him this. It will help him understand my reaction to his kiss earlier.

"The day of the baseball game, Karusa said some things to you in hopes of mentally distracting you from the game... He made up a bunch of lies, claiming he did things to me... he took it too far and you hit him. I didn't hear the full conversation but you wouldn't have reacted that way if there wasn't some proof to his words... I'm pretty sure he told you about a hickey..."

Link's jaw tenses as he glares at his trembling hands. I take his hand into my gentle touch to stop the tremor, causing him to flinch. I thought he would pull away again but he is letting me hold his hand.

"I never told you what really happened between Karusa and me. If it's okay with you, I'd like to talk about it now."

Link tilts his head to look at me. His eyes hold every emotion I'm trying not to feel at this very moment. I can see his fears, his anger, his disgust, his guilt... He gives me a hesitant nod and interlocks our fingers.

"You have to promise not to tell anyone."

"I promise."

"No one," I stress.

"Okay," he says in all seriousness.

"You can't get in a fight over this. And you can't confront Karusa about it either."

"What? Why not?"

I remain silent for a moment. There are so many reasons to name, but I'm not sure if they will sound like good reasons once I say them out loud.