Never Without You │ BOTW modern AU fanfic

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Link's hand on me feels so... foreign. Although we have touched countless times, no touch has ever been like this.

So far he hasn't moved his hand elsewhere and I'm glad. Although I don't really know where he would move it, he seems pretty content right now. And so am I, which makes me wonder... Why don't I want this to go any further?

I don't know why. I just know that I don't feel ready. But will I ever? The first time is always scary, no matter in what context. It's the unpredictable that scares me and the fact that I have no experience and therefore can't expect and calculate every scenario and outcome.

I was nervous when I first learned how to ride a horse, I was nervous when I boarded a plane for the first time, even when I entered college I felt the same kind of nervousness. The first time jitters. 

And when it comes to Link, there isn't much of a difference there. It's been that way ever since we met. In the beginning, I couldn't even say the words "kiss" or "boyfriend". As we do things more often, we become familiar with them. Flying doesn't make me nervous anymore, neither does riding a horse or going to school. I actually enjoy those things now. 

Over the past year, I gradually became more comfortable with kissing and cuddling Link, and calling him my boyfriend. Now making out with him, sleeping in the same bed as him, and seeing him shirtless feels very natural. I'm even getting used to changing in front of him.

So... I mean... would it be so bad if we took it further than this? At the pier, Impa said it is important that I feel ready and that I do it with someone I trust. Those were the two things she said matter. I trust Link... that's not even a question I have to ask myself. But I don't think I'll ever be ready for something I haven't done before.

Link removes his hand, interrupting my thoughts with an unexpected wave of disappointment. I didn't want him to stop yet.

This proves my point. I wasn't ready for him to go there but when he did, I didn't want it to stop. Why am I like this? Maybe Impa was wrong about the first time. Maybe being ready is not part of it. Maybe being ready is the result of it.

"Pretty girl," Link smiles at me without the slightest idea what is going on in my busy head right now.

I try to read his eyes. What is going on in his head?

I remember asking Impa if she thought Link wanted to sleep with me and she didn't even hesitate to answer with yes. But she is basing her answer of her own experiences. Link is not like other guys. Just because Impa has more experience with guys doesn't mean she is right about every guy being like the ones she has been with. Link doesn't care about intercourse, otherwise he wouldn't have stopped right now. 

'He probably carries a condom everywhere just in case you spontaneously change your mind,' she said to me. It almost makes me laugh to imagine Link like that. He knows it's not going to happen anytime soon, that's why he removed his hand from my chest just now. 

"You okay?" Link asks upon reading my face.

"Mhm," I nod, lips pressed together.

He is gentle and kind. And many people, Impa included, don't see that due to his impassive exterior and thick armor. Sometimes it sure feels like I am the only one who truly knows him.

"Can we talk about something?" I ask, looking up at him.

I know him way better than anyone else. Just because he is a guy doesn't mean he fits in one box with all others. But I should still talk to him and make sure we are on the same page, otherwise one of us will end up getting disappointed again.