My Guardian Angel

41: And I do, very much

Today's the day Jasper's leaving. That day I despised the most, that haunted my dreams ever since Jasper told me about it. But I can't call it entirely the worst, since dad is returning from his business trip and I've to at least pretend to be happy though I'm crying my eyes out inside. Dad's finally going to unite with me after so long; I can't hurt him then.

I watched in a gloomy pout as Jasper rushed around, packing up the rest of his stuff which was scattered around in the house just like mine were. Well, how could it not be? He'd been staying here for months. He had grown so close to me and this house that he eventually became a member of it in our minds. His stuff being thrown around reminds me of how dad runs around for his stuff when he's leaving, and that breaks me even more. I scanned his face carefully whenever he came nearby; it showcased clear frustration, but that may be due to the current stress. He didn't even look at me much today, all he did was smile at me when I woke up. When I sat up in bed today morning, he had just kept my cup of coffee there and started to run around from then on. Maybe he just forgot in the midst of everything, but he didn't say his usual good morning to me today, which made me even more duller than I already was. This really is the first time I'm having such an experience in my whole life. It's true that dad's absence was distressing, but I honestly never felt much sadness when he was preparing to leave since I'd grown quite used to do that over the years. 

"June, did you see my duffel bag anywhe - Nevermind. Got it," Jasper called out from my room. I sighed and stood up anyways, walking over to my room lazily while he was in there, still packing the last few of his stuff. Maybe talking to him for some more time might calm me down even though part of me would still be breaking down at the thought of him leaving in just an hour or less. Taking his brown jacket from the hanger, I handed it to him with a blank face, "You forgot this, Jasper."

"No, I didn't," he smiled, zipping hit suitcase shut, "You can keep it. For some reason, I never used it once without having to hand it to you later on. So maybe, it's meant for you."

I chuckled, "That's a weird flex, but okay. Thanks, Jasper."

Coincidentally, I really liked that jacket too. Whenever I wore anything that he owned, it had this special scent and comfort to it, and I almost felt as if it was he was indeed hugging me then even though that's a weird thought. Like he said, it always ended up in my hands although he took it along first. So, I guess I did want to keep it - it would remind me of him too, even after he leaves. Sometimes those reminders might be painful, but at least remembering him whenever I feel lonely would immediately lighten me up. 

"And I know you like it," He chuckled. My smile grew wider, wondering how he could read my mind right when I was thinking just that. 

"Guessed it right," I smiled, keeping the jacket neatly folded in my cupboard before exiting my room and sitting down on the couch again. Okay, that's it. I desperately, very desperately, don't want him to leave, I thought, What am I supposed to do to make him stay, what am I supposed to do? 

Wait, should I act sick, maybe? Should I beg Trent to beat me up or something so that Jasper might stay sometime just till I'm fine? Should I go outside by myself and act like I got lost? Wait, that means there's a chance that I may get kidnapped by these so-called attackers. So, I have a higher chance of making Jasper understand that even if he leaves, I'm still in danger, and that if he stays, I'm in less danger. Maybe I could even try to beat up those fuckers who hurt Jasper with my friends' help? Anything I could do?

I frowned at myself, "Shut up, what are you even thinking about?"

Never underestimate the power of kidnappers, June. They can do anything to me if Jasper fails to find me in time, or even kill me by that time. But then again, I had a hundred percent assurance that Jasper would never fail to find me in time if I got kidnapped; I just knew it. I wasn't sure how, but I did.