scars

Chapter six: everything i have been throught

We met up with the rest of my brothers who looked exhausted. We drove home in silence not the comfortable kind.

When we got home Alessandro helped me with my bags but then went to do some work downstairs, so I decide to unpack and put on some pyjamas. Eventually I set up my phone and laptop before moving to play something on my guitar.

I played secrets by one republic, it was AJ's favourite song, so I know it off by heart and the lyrics from memory.

Carlos Pov

I walked past Ximena's room and heard her singing and playing the guitar she sounded really sad. I know I have acted like I hate her I don't I just don't understand why she committed all those crimes.

She was never mum's favourite so it always confused me why mum took her, but I think mum might have been jealous because of how much Ximena loved us. I was five when mum took her away but I remember dad always took care of her like she was one of the boys because of the fact that her and mum never really got on.

When Alessandro left Lorenzo went snooping and told us what he had seen and even shared it with us, it was weird to see the police reports something never added up. The notes on the side of the reports were off there were allegations of abuse for both mum and her boyfriend Paul.

Then when Ximena walked in Alessandro was smiling which made me jealous, in all the years since mum took our sister I have never seen him smile.

Hearing Ximena so emotional made me feel guilty over being mean to her but I suppose she might be feeling emotions for a completely different reason but I can't help but feel like I have made them worse.

Her emotions are raw but only now all day she has been completely blank.

Ximena's Pov

I sang for a while just thinking about AJ and everything thats happened, sometimes I wish that nothing had changed from the day I met AJ but otherwise I would never have found my family.

I felt the presence of one of my brothers outside but I didn't want to let them know that I was aware of them being there. Alessandro had signed my phone and laptop into Netflix, Amazon and Disney plus, so I sat down and watched a movie.

I must have fallen asleep because, I woke up screaming with all of my brothers surrounding me.

"What the fuck was that?" Carlos snarled.

"Just a nightmare, sorry for waking you." I said quietly baking up so I was against the wall.

Alessandro was shooing the rest of them outside while I felt an anxiety attack coming on. I put my head on my knees trying to breathe.

"Hey it's just me can you tell what's going on?" Alessandro asked me.

"My life is a mess, but I want to tell everyone this set up the living room this is going to be a long explanation." I said to Alessandro moving to go and freshen up.

I walked downstairs to see everyone sat on the sofas.

"This is a long story so sit tight, shut up and keep all questions till the end. My childhood well I didn't have a great childhood. We all know Maria took me away from you and dad but she took me away because she was jealous that I loved you and dad more than I loved her. Life was okay when we left until I was eight, Maria made some new friends and the odd jobs I was doing for the neighbours for extra cash for food turned into dealing for the local dealer.
Maria spent everything she had on booze and getting her next fix, that she started to become paranoid she locked every cupboard which had something she had bought in it. So she made me do the dealings for an allowance for food, Nigel the dealer liked me because I looked innocent and naive so he assumed the police wouldn't accuse me of anything. But as you know when I was nine I went to juvie for the first time, Paul had told the police some elaborate lie about me being a terror for him and Maria. If I wasn't able to get my allowance because Maria used it before giving me anything. I would steal for food, I was arrested twice for stealing. Before Maria kicked me out of hers and Paul's had I had a walk-in-wardrobe for a room. Maria found it funny to sell my things even the guitar Alessandro bought me, she sold majority of my clothes hence the reason I only had two outfits when I came here. I have the Scar on my wrist from when I was cooking for Maria and Paul but it wasn't good so they poured boiling water on me. I had one person through it all until two years ago his name was AJ he is the reason I always wear aftershave instead of perfume, he is the reason I own a leather jacket and most importantly he is the reason I am still alive but him and his mum moved away and I didn't have a phone so I have no idea if he is still alive or anything. Also AJ helped me realise my love for working out and music he was there for me through everything. He also understood everything i had been through given he had a shitty dad and stepmum. He knew why I was a dealer and he knew that my assault accusations were false cause Maria had hit me and made me cry due to the fact that she had broken my nose which is still wonky now. He reminded me that she was not worth wasting my time on. He was the only one to ever visit me in juvie." I explained to my brothers who either looked sad or angry but not at me anymore.

"The coward dies a thousand deaths, the brave but one ."