Ximena (he-men-a) Bedoya
Ximena- one who hears
no one has ever bothered to listen to Ximena but she always listens to them for this reason Ximena has a dark past no one would hear her enough to hear the truth
I walked downstairs where my brothers where eating breakfast before grabbing myself my breakfast drink.
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"Ximena why do you always wear black?" Carlos asked me.
I thought for a moment I was born colourblind so I never knew what colour things were Maria said not to let people know about it because she saw it as a weakness.
"My wardrobe is so colourful just like the darker clothes." I said hesitantly.
"Alright then, Ximena what colour are my shoes?" Lorenzo asked.
"Dark brown," I guessed halfheartedly.
"Ximena are you colourblind?" Alessandro asked me concered I guess Lorenzo's shoes aren't brown.
"No of course not," I said looking at the floor. "I was joking, they are clearly navy."
"Ximena it's okay if you are we aren't going to make fun of you his shoes are dark green by the way." Santiago said.
"I was born colourblind I see the world in black and white, it's not that big of a deal." I mumbled as all of my brothers faces turned to surprise from the fact that they didn't know I was colour blind.
"You are actually colourblind?" Dante said shocked.
"Yes I tend to hide it and just wear matching black workout sets or black suits so no one would know." I explained. "Thats why my favourite colour is black it stands out it's a darker shade amongst the rest of them."
"Are you bullshitting us?" Lorenzo asked.
"To be honest, the shades of black yes it's too funny to see your faces but colourblind no that's was totally true." I laughed at their expressions.
I knew how it felt to be burnt out, but when I felt it this time. It made me want to cry, my life was finally looking up and I was learning to love myself and music again but now I have constant writers block and have had too many panic attacks.
I don't know who to turn to because AJ has left again and I don't want to unload on my brothers.
I left a note on the counter saying where I was what I was wearing and whose car I took before driving to the gym.
I put my headphones in and played my music at full volume while taking everything out on the punching bag.
I then moved to the treadmill for the next two hours with no break, before returning straight back to the punching bag.
It was an endless cycle but given it was late the gym was almost empty.
I knew there was someone else here from the noise coming from the gun, knife and axe range area.
Leonard was also sat in his office doing some paperwork but he wasn't aware I was here.
I had hoped no one would disturb me but then the treadmill I was running on was shut off I realised someone was not happy with me.
Leonard was stood beside me glaring at me.
"Explain why you are here missy!" He said.
"I don't know how to deal with my emotions any other way, my best friend just left me again, I am burnt out again and I just told my brothers I am colourblind and Maria made me promise I would never reveal that again. I wish I could have a normal life for once, Dante still doesn't talk to me directly." I said as I walked over to the punching bag with no headphones in as Leonard had removed them. Leonard looked at me with pitty which I hated so I went back to hitting the punching bag.
"So at two am when you realised this you decided to come here, here of all places you could go?" He said almost in shock.
"Actually I have been here since nine pm, everyone was asleep so I left a note took one of their cars and drove here where I began working out." I said without thinking.
"So you thought rather than workout in your home gym where I can't lecture you, that you would come here?" He said confused.
"If I break a punching bag there they will flip their shit but if it happens here all I do it hang it back up. No guilt for waking someone or anything." I said thinking no one would be up at home so it made zero difference that was until I heard Leonard's phone go off.
"Yes she's here with me, I am currently lecturing her I will bring her back soon don't worry. Okay bye Lorenzo." He said on the phone.
"I will drive us to your house, your brothers have been looking for you." He said looking at me weirdly.
"I left them a note in the kitchen," I said clearly confused.
"They are probably just being idiots and haven't seen it." Leonard said.
But I had over things on my mind my therapist had been doing virtual appointments with me but she said that I was making little progress and she had made the decision to refere me to another more local therapist but they wanted me to go to therapy tomorrow and I didn't know how to do that without one of my brothers finding out.
My friend had just left me which weighed me down mentally he was all I could think about.
"Brethren, I am home," I said walking in the house which was eerily quiet.
I clung to the walls, I was outside the living room when I saw that someone had my brothers tied up.
"Hi Jax what do you want with my brothers this time, I thought you were to much of a wimp to actually pull off your pathetic threats." I scowled.
"Listen bitch I am more brave than you could ever be." He snarled back at me.
"Fuck off Jax first you thought kidnapping was fun now we move to lying and tying people up really." I said as I continued to walk closer to them.
"All talk and no bite as always Ximena what if I told you Dakota was still alive." He said smirking.
"You would be lying I watched her die in my arms during our first mission remember, oh right you wouldn't because you never cared about me or her." I said scowling at that bitch, we don't say her name.
"The coward dies a thousand deaths, the brave but one."
