scars

Chapter nine: the allies

Tonight I had to get ready for the meal with the allies, so I got ready into a different outfit because last times was all bloody.

I decided against doing any makeup due to the pain when I touched my face.

I just wore a laid back outfit. I wanted to look good for these allies but then I am in pain and am not even going to be able to eat with them or talk.

I was completely and utterly ready to just go to sleep, I don't want any stuck up prick telling me things.

My brothers all looked nervous or completely emotionless. Santiago wrapped his arm around my waist since I am wearing heels I am almost his height.

Yet again I found myself helping Santiago in the kitchen, Santiago loves cooking so it's no shock and apparently none of my brothers can cook.

Everyone of legal age was drinking either wine or in my case beer through a straw which made me look stupid but hey I didn't care.

The only reason I was here was to meet the actual ally.

Alessandro opened the door again and guided the guests inside, I was very busy helping Santiago that I didn't notice the rest of them walk in.

I turned around and saw the guests and was about to cry, the guests were AJ and his mum.

Once I put the plate I was holding down I launched myself at AJ who caught me smiling. I saw Amanda smiling at our interaction.

"Why are you here?" AJ asked me, I looked at Santiago pleading for him to answer for me.

"She is our sister also Nigel broke her jaw last night so she can't speak for a week." He said smiling at the two of us.

"You fucking saw Nigel, please tell me he is dead or worse off." Both AJ and Amanda said furiously.

I held up two fingers to indicate the second one, both AJ and Amanda started to hug me.

"How's it feel to be 18?" AJ asked me jokingly he is around the same age as Carlos so he liked to make jokes about me being the baby.

I fake laughed and then gave him the finger.

Alessandro and Maria left to go talk about the deal.

So me and AJ went to my room where we exchanged numbers took some more updated pictures for my wall and we chatted over text before Amanda came and said that they had to leave. 

Both AJ and I pouted at having to leave each other again but this time things were different we had phones.

I hugged him and then finally released him. After they left i felt sad a lot of memories from the first time he left resurface.

I cried that night just remembering everything that happened before it hurt that the one person who had been with me for so long was the reason for these emotions.

I ended up texting Santiago.

Ximena: I need a person right now will you come sit with me while I am an emotional wreck.

Santiago: be right up

Sometimes it's the smaller things that make me emotional like now not being able to talk is causing me pain all I want to do is laugh and joke with my brothers.

Santiago came upstairs to my room he was confused until he looked over to the window where I was sat crying silently.

Amanda had sent any videos she had of me and AJ when we were younger to me.

So we spent our time together watching them and I was made to drink a third drink for my diet.

I finished the drink quickly not really having any feeling about it. I settled on Santiago's chest hugging him while tears continue to roll down my cheeks.

I missed Amanda so much she used to sing us a song that made us remember how lucky we were it reminded us to savour every moment we got together.

I love my family but I can't help but feel like they missed most of my life even now I feel like AJ missed a lot of my life.

I was diagnosed with anxiety at the age of six and have been on the medication for my attacks for twelve years.

My brothers never notice because I am always up before them also now i am taking a shit ton of meds anyway so it makes no difference.

I love all of my brothers but some times they are idiots, lie today when they all came downstairs Carlos and Dante fell over each other.

Causing me and Santiago to bust out laughing at the while Lorenzo took a picture while smiling.

I haven't really been able to speak to Lorenzo since he apologised and i was planning on asking him to help me find a job but that is a lot more difficult given my injuries.

I opened my phone and began to text Lorenzo about getting my cv printed.

Ximena: if I send you my cv can you print me a few copies off once I am able to talk I am going to hunt for jobs

Lorenzo: you know you don't have to get a job we can find you a spot in our mafia as a trainer I have seen you in the gym for hours you never get bored so why not

Ximena: you have no involvement with drugs in out mafia right

Lorenzo: correct we have zero involvement

Ximena: as soon as I'm well I'll bring it up with Alessandro

Lorenzo: I am sure he will be more than willing to let you

I nodded at Lorenzo before heading upstairs to get dressed for the day I want to workout for a little bit.

(Ximena's outfit but the tattoos are concealed with makeup)

I was on my way to our gym when Lorenzo pulled me to one side.

"Come with me I need your help teaching one of our recruits how to punch." He said smiling at me.

I looked at him shocked.

"Alessandro said that its fine as long as you don't talk which you probably won't want to because of the pain." He said clarifying that we had full permission.

"The coward dies a thousand deaths, the brave but one ."