[INDEF. HIATUS] Regrets and Wishes: One More Chance

Chapter 20 - Ciel: Fragile Heart

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第20章　シエル：傷つきやすい心

(Rimuru's Perspective)

Walking under the night sky through the town's roadway lit by street lamps, I'm currently heading to my house after completing my businesses with Shizu-san.

Having arrived, I open the door and step in. I suddenly feel a new connection towards my soul. Someone is just connected with me through [Soul Corridor]. It seems Ciel has created a [Soul Corridor] link for Shizu-san. But that's not my concern right now.

I reclose the door and enter my bedroom.

After changing outfit into my usual dark-blue pyjamas, I turn off the room's lamp then lay myself down on the futon bed in the middle of the room, resting my head on a pillow, starting to immerse myself deeply into the vast ocean of thoughts and contemplations.

The memory of Shizu-san asking us if Ciel and I were a couple is still fresh in my mind. The embarrassment I felt from that hasn't disappeared completely.

I do care a lot for Ciel and so does Ciel care a lot for me. We do care for each other. But we never thought about going further than just being in "simple partnership".

"Not yet...." Such words that my mouth unconsciously muttered at the time, it was as if I indirectly told Shizu-san that we weren't, but would be someday. I was so panicked that I could barely take out a proper answer from my mind.

Why did I say that...? Did it really just happen because of my panicking thought?

As panicking as I could be, I would usually just stay silent awkwardly if I couldn't pull out an answer. Rather than panic, it's more like—I turn my gaze at the ceiling—did I, somehow unconsciously, deep inside a part of my own heart that not even I was aware of, want it to happen?

I slightly turn my body to see an empty space at my right side. Ciel is currently not here, as she has asked permission to stay with Shizu-san for a moment longer.

While I was going through that whole walk from health facility to this house without Ciel, and even now, if I have to be honest, I feel terribly lonely. No words to exchange, no hands to hold, and no faces to look at; the walk that should just be less than a hundred metres felt as if I were going for eternity.

It's enough a fact to make me seriously question myself.

Why did I feel that way, even though I already knew that I could always talk with Ciel through our integrated minds if that was all I wanted?

Why was it that when I didn't see her face beside me even just for a short while, my chest started to ache, even though I was originally a slime who wasn't supposed to have physical organs?

And even now, my chest still aches. Perhaps, I've been getting more and more attached to her; when something separates us, I feel like a part of me gets torn up.

I remember the earlier incident, when I unintentionally held Shizu-san's hands. Ciel looked so angry disappointed when I did so. It was also the first time I saw her raising her tone to me, as far as I could remember. It was so fortunate that she could quickly forgive me.

It's not that I was mad at her for being so. I was aware that it was also partly my own fault. But...it does get me thinking.

What does all of this mean? Does this mean that all this time, we harbour a feeling towards each other without neither of us realizing it all this time? A special feeling that exists only between two of us? Or to be exact....