Heir of Beasts

Ch 1.4- A Promise, a Seal, a Source of Magic

I said it would be less of a wait for this chapter, and I lied. Sorry. Writer's block. Next chapter is back to O'otani and all of her drama. The same content warnings apply to this chapter as the previous few. Let me know what you think.

- S.

Then she's gone and we're alone again. Her exit leaves behind an emptiness far larger than the space her slight body occupied. She's a storm of raw emotion, all teeth and tension, with the imperious arrogance of a Grand Councilor draped over top like ceremonial robes. There's a certain violence to even her stillness, and even laughter could only soften her face so much.

But it did soften. She did laugh. She called me by my name and told me I was salvageable, which is one of the most backhanded compliments I've ever received, yet still miraculous for the olive branch it offered.

"So she is human," I muse, leaning back against him. "If I hadn't seen it myself, I'd never believe it. The demon queen has a living, beating heart in her chest."

"I often think her humanity is what galls her most of all," Irei remarks thoughtfully, perhaps ruefully. "If she could cut her heart from her chest and live inside that hollow coldness, sometimes I'm certain she would. She feels too much and doesn't know what to do with any of it, and sometimes that gets tangled into cruelty by the alchemy of her wild, erratic heart."

"O'otani wore her heart on her sleeve and her love in her eyes and her rage in her fists," I say with a soft smile. "When you called Taís a severely peeved badger, I remembered my Aunt Jinn describing her as three angry ferrets sewn into a dress. That was probably the nicest thing Jinnra ever said about O'otani. Her go-to endearment was kazinsera." I grimace. "It means mad dog."

"If someone other than me called Taís a mad dog, there'd be hell to pay."

"Jinnra... she paid," I say quietly, and for a moment I can almost feel the stone railing of the fifth-floor balcony beneath my fingers. Nearly hear the concussive blasts of the fireworks blooming above me, caustic flowers I could so easily choke on. I choke on memory instead, their deaths thick in my throat, the one taste cutting through the metallic tang of fear. "They all did. They paid in blood. O'otani made sure of that."

"I didn't mean to remind you of her," Irei says with an apologetic grimace. "And I certainly didn't mean to suggest that the price you and your family paid wasn't dear enough."

"Everything reminds me of her," I reply honestly, reaching forward and lacing my fingers through his. I remind myself where I am, turning stone back into flesh, replacing the dull throbbing of the fireworks with my pulsing heartbeat as his lips graze my neck. "I'll find a way to deal with that eventually, but sometimes I wonder..."

"Wonder what?"

"If we deserved it," I say so softly I can barely hear myself, as if whispering will obscure the blasphemy. Though perhaps we were never holy enough to merit that word.

"Shira-"

"She spent her entire life fighting my battles for me and I repaid her by stealing her birthright," I murmur, running my free hand through my hair and pulling like it might settle the chaos rioting just beneath my skin. Or even focus it. "She was two months older than me and yet they called me Izsai. They made her my protector, my guard dog, when birth declared her my queen. Then they demanded she cage that wild animal in her chest, that madness that I'm just now realizing was probably rage at being continually rejected."

"You were a child, Shira. You stole nothing, merely took what you were handed, as all children do."

"Then why didn't I hand it back?"