Heir of Beasts

Ch. 3.1 - Microcosmic Blues

"Wake up, miss." Halima calls, cutting through the haze of my nightmare. For a few seconds I'm both asleep and awake, both seeing the little girl holding my breakfast and the afterimages of the dream.

I open my eyes and blink a few times, chasing the shadows from my peripheral vision. It wasn't real, I tell myself, focusing on the cracks of the ceiling as my heartbeat begins to slow. It was just a stupid dream.

"You cried out, miss." She says, setting the tray down. I turn my head to look at her.

"What did I say?"

"You said something about blackened rain, miss."

That sounds about right, I suppose. In one dream I was running through the palace gardens during a summer rainstorm, dancing around while my dress was soaked through. I could actually see the vetaveri flowers growing, nourished by the water. Then the rain turned into something black and viscous that began to coat my body, binding to me and clogging my eyes, my throat-

"My mother used to tell me to drink three cups of tea before bed to avoid nightmares." Halima informs me with a small smile. "And also to sleep facing north."

"Do bad dreams come from the south?" I ask mockingly.

Her face closes down a bit, and I almost regret my tone. "No, miss. I think they come from inside our own minds and hearts. But the goddess of dreams makes her home in the north, you know, and the closer you are to her, the more likely she is to watch over your sleep."

"Well, I am facing north." I tell her. "See? The window faces the sunrise and the sun rises in the east, so that means the bookshelves are west, and the foot of my bed is facing south. And I still have horrible dreams."

"Maybe try the tea." She suggests timidly.

"Tea only works when you lace it with lanuli." I tell her. "Tea is just herb water. You want to keep nightmares at bay, you need something stronger." I pause. "Do you think you could get some lanuli, Halima?"

"No, miss." She says. "The guards check what I bring you every day, once in the kitchens when they give it to me and once before I come inside the room. They wouldn't let me bring you that."

"Maybe if you dissolved it in the tea beforehand-"

"I don't know where they keep it, miss." She says nervously. "I'm sorry."

"Me too." I sigh, pulling myself up higher in bed. What I wouldn't give for some lanuli. Just three drops in tea and you'll sleep so soundly you won't ever dream. I wouldn't have to close my eyes and wonder if I'd sleep through to morning or wake up an hour later crying.

"I wish I could help, miss." Halima mutters, sitting down on the edge of the bed. And she means it. Her golden eyes are wide and glassy and I can feel how desperately her little heart wants to help me. She was raised in the palace and she's still loyal.

And the new guards, traitors Sholu has installed to keep order in the palace, know it. That's why they check the tray twice. I shudder thinking about what they would do if they found out she was bringing me lanuli- a soporific, in small doses, but in excess, a poison.

"I shouldn't have asked you." I say. "It would get you in trouble."
"I- I don't mind." She says, trying to smile, but I can see fear flashing in her eyes. She's only thirteen.

"You should." I snap. "Those guards won't hesitate to kill you, you know, just because you're a child. They've already killed plenty of Amarin babies, don't think you're any different just because you're a servant!"